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  • The Lunchroom Episode 2x12 "Fooling Myself"
  • The Time Is Finally Here
  • Trip
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  • Minority Report Movie
  • BANDS ON THE RUN

     

    SCRIPTMENT v1.3

    Started 26/09/01

    Completed 4/09/02

    This Version - 9/12/03

    We start on a busy city street downtown. Traffic bustles, as do the hordes of pedestrians up and down the streets. We hold outside a tall building, labelled by a huge sign outside as "WANING BROS. RECORDS." As we hold, a black limousine drives into shot and screeches to a halt. The rear passenger door facing us swings open, and Martyn is thrown out to land in a heap on the pavement. The door slams shut and the car speeds off.

    Martyn is 23, slim, 5' 12" with spiky brown hair, and a little unkempt looking from his hit with the pavement, dressed in the kind of clothes someone without a big wardrobe wears to try and look smart. In his hand he clutches an open and empty CD case, with "DEMO" labelled in marker on the front. After a beat, another screech of tires is heard O.C, and a CD rolls slowly past him to land at his feet. With a resigned sigh, Martyn picks it up, places it back in the box, and turns to look up at the tall building in front of him.

    We follow Martyn as the credits roll around him. He crosses the busy road and bounds up the steps leading to the outside of the building. The security guard eyes him warily as he enters, before talking into his radio.

    GUARD
    Attention, all floor staff,
    looks like we have another
    musician in here.

    Martyn is oblivious to this and continues inside. He walks up to the front reception desk and stands there patiently, as the receptionist chews gum and listens to a phone call with a bored look on her face. Martyn coughs. She looks up, looks him up and down, and lowers the receiver from her mouth.

    RECEPTIONIST

    All demo material, tenth

    floor.

     

     

    MARTYN

    How did -

     

     

    RECEPTIONIST

    Elevators are that way.

    (points)

    Thank you.

     

     

    MARTYN

    Who do -

     

     

    RECEPTIONIST

    Ask for a Mr. Barrington.

     

    The receptionist returns to her call. Martyn heads for the elevators. We ride with him to the tenth floor. As he leaves the elevator, we hold on a small security camera positioned in the lift, its red light blinking like a tiny evil eye.

    We cut to the security office, where a guard before a wall of TV screens is watching Martyn leave the elevator.

    GUARD #2

    Copy that, we have him

    on floor 10. All units, stay

    alert.

     

    Cut back to Martyn, walking down a short corridor and turning into a large open plan office area. Cubeville, 2001 style. Lots of different pieces of music float around from numerous radios, TV sets, internet connections and the like. The office workers are in clumps, each group listening to something being played to them. Martyn stops one, an attractive OFFICE GIRL as she walks past.

    MARTYN

    'Scuse me. Where is -

     

     

    OFFICE GIRL

    (looks him up and down)

    Mr. Barrington's office is that

    way.

    (points)

     

     

    MARTYN

    Why do -

     

     

    OFFICE GIRL

    It's your clothes. Trust me,

    we get thousands of wannabe

    rock stars in here every week,

    and you match the description.

     

     

    MARTYN

    Thanks, I guess.

     

     

    OFFICE GIRL

    Don't mention it.

     

    Martyn heads for the office. At the door, he is about to knock when the door flies open and another MUSICIAN, dressed surprisingly similar to Martyn, storms out of the office. He turns in the doorframe to yell back into the room.

    MUSICIAN

    You corporate fat cat

    capitalist pigs wouldn't

    know a new and original

    sound if it stole your damn

    wallet!

     

    A CD labelled "DEMO" with black marker pen flies out of the room, striking the Musician squarely in his forehead. He hits the deck like a sack of potatoes. As Martyn watches, shocked, two OFFICE WORKERS pop up from their cubicles, sigh, and walk over to drag the unfortunate musician O.S.

     

    VOICE (O.S.)

    Well?

     

    Martyn jumps as a gruff voice calls him from inside the office. He peers round into the room. BARRINGTON sits behind his desk. Despite his position of power, Barrington is not dressed like a typical executive. He has long, wavy black hair, a lip ring and a jet black suit on with a tasteful red tie. Barrington is tall and well built. He blows a puff of cigar smoke out and motions for Martyn to enter.

    BARRINGTON
    Come on, kid, don't waste

    everyone's time. I promise

    I won't stun you like I had

    to with that one.

     

     

    MARTYN

    How did -

     

     

    BARRINGTON

    It's your clothes. Now

    take a seat before I call

    security.

     

     

    Martyn races into the office and hops into a seat opposite Barrington. The door behind him swings slowly closed all by itself. As it slams, Martyn jumps again.

    BARRINGTON

    You look nervous, kid. Don't

    be. Now tell me your story.

     

     

    MARTYN

    (deep breath)

    Well, I could -

     

     

    BARRINGTON

    Leave out the boring stuff.

     

     

    MARTYN

    Boring stuff?

     

     

    BARRINGTON

    You know, your name, the

    band's name, your "sound,"

    how you met, that crap. Do

    you want a record deal?

     

     

    MARTYN

    Yes.

     

     

    BARRINGTON

    Do you have a demo?

     

     

    MARTYN
    Yes.

    (holds it out)

     

     

    BARRINGTON

    Then let's cut to the chase.

     

    Barrington takes the CD and opens the disk tray on his stereo, which sits beside him on top of the desk. He presses play. We close up on the machinery of the stereo working - the laser glides into places, the CD begins spinning, and we follow an electrical pulse through to the speakers and back out into the office. Two seconds of music are heard before Barrington pauses the CD.

    BARRINGTON

    Is this crap?

     

     

    MARTYN

    No way. Top stuff, I

    assure you.

     

     

    BARRINGTON

    (grins)

    Last person who said that

    to me is a rich man by now.

     

    The CD continues. We hear two more seconds before Barrington stops it. Martyn looks a little confused.

    MARTYN

    Aren't you going to listen

    to it?

     

     

    BARRINGTON

    I'm a busy man, son. If I

    spent my time listening to

    every single demo that gets

    handed to me, I'd die before

    I was halfway through that

    lot over there.

     

    Barrington points O.S. We follow his finger to a HUGE pile of CDs that fills one wall almost to the ceiling. It looks extremely precarious, stacked in random piles and heaped on top of one another. One slides out and hits the floor as we watch, a plain CD case labelled "DEMO" in black marker.

    BARRINGTON

    Fact is, I have a trained

    ear that can detect crap at

    a thousand paces. Your

    stuff sounds okay.

     

    Martyn breathes out, looks a little more relaxed.

    BARRINGTON

    But that's just step one.

    You have a long way to

    go to make it here yet.

     

     

    MARTYN
    Name your price.

     

     

    BARRINGTON

    That's what I'm supposed

    to say! Are your band ready

    to play tonight?

     

     

    MARTYN
    If you book them, they

    will come.

     

     

    BARRINGTON

    Can you make it back here

    with them by..

    (consults watch)

    8 tonight?

     

     

    MARTYN

    Not a problem.

     

     

    BARRINGTON

    I'm holding an A&R thing

    tonight for a new idea I had.

    You interested?

     

     

    MARTYN
    So far. Tell me more!

     

    Barrington stands and begins to pace back and forth in front of the windows in the back wall of his office, waving his hands as he talks, explaining his great vision.

    BARRINGTON

    Four bands, each hungry

    for a record deal, each hand

    picked by me from the A&R

    showcase tonight. We set them

    up with transport and send them

    off round the country, going

    from city to city, playing at

    venues we arrange for them,

    each competing against the other

    to earn as much cash as possible

    from ticket sales and merchandise.

    At the end of the tour, the band

    with the most cash gets the contract.

     

     

    MARTYN

    Sounds perfect!

     

     

    BARRINGTON

    I know. Plus, it gets my

    business a crapload of free

    publicity and also hands me

    a band proven to succeed in

    the outside world and

    guaranteed public support.

    It's every record label's dream.

    Bands like that are one in a

    million, so I figured I'd find

    myself one of them.

     

     

    MARTYN

    I'm in. So is my band.

     

     

    BARRINGTON

    Name?

     

     

    MARTYN

    I'm Martyn, my band is

    called Wavelength.

     

     

    BARRINGTON

    Welcome aboard.

     

    Barrington leans across the desk and offers Martyn his hand. He shakes it, standing himself.

    BARRINGTON

    Just don't play like crap

    tonight and you're sorted.

    I like you, Martyn, you've

    got good manners. That's

    a rare thing in this business.

     

    Martyn smiles, so does Barrington. He turns and leaves as another OFFICE WORKER runs into the room past him.

    OFFICE WORKER
    More problems with Cosmic

    Space Vibe Babies, Sir! It seems

    that Chet, the singer, has

    apparently lost his mojo again and

    he's refusing to play.

     

     

    BARRINGTON

    (mutters)

    Bloody hippies..

    (shouts)

    Martyn! See you tonight!

    (to Office Worker)

    Close the door after him, man!

    Were you raised in a barn?

     

    Martyn steps outside the office as the worker swings the door shut.

    BARRINGTON (O.S.)

    But don't slam it!

     

    The door slams. There is a cry of terror and then the sound of hundreds of CD cases labelled "DEMO" in black marker sliding from the wall and burying the unfortunate worker. Martyn shakes his head and walks away with a smile. As he reaches the end of the open plan area, Barrington forces the door open and sticks his head out into the office.

    BARRINGTON

    Does anyone have a shovel?

     

    Martyn steps out of the elevator and back onto the ground floor, where he is immediately grabbed by a bunch of security guards. He struggles as they drag him across the lobby towards the front doors.

    MARTYN
    What's going on? I didn't

    do anything!

     

     

    GUARD #3

    We had reports of a fatality

    on the tenth floor.

     

     

    MARTYN

    What?!

     

     

    GUARD #4

    Some poor office guy got

    flattened by a pile of demo

    CDs.

     

     

    MARTYN

    But why me?

     

     

    GUARD #3

    What's that in your hand,

    sir?

     

    Martyn looks down. He is holding his demo CD. It is cracked from when it was thrown from the car earlier. He looks up at the guards again, whose steely eyes mean trouble.

    MARTYN

    Now wait just a minute..

     

     

    GUARD #4

    Are you familiar with Paul

    McCartney, sir?

     

     

    MARTYN

    I never - huh? Yes, why?

     

     

    GUARD #3

    Remember the band he made

    after leaving the Beatles?

     

     

    MARTYN

    Yes, Wings. Why?

     

     

    GUARD #4

    You may be in need of some.

     

    We cut to a worm's eye view of the outside of the building as Martyn is thrown into the air by the guards. He sails past the camera with a shout, his arms flailing, until he lands O.S. with a thump. After a beat, his CD flies past after him. There is a thunk as it hits him.

    Martyn heads back home to the Wavelength HQ, which is an average flat in an average neighbourhood. He greets various people as he heads up the stairs to the fourth floor. Sounds of various instruments being tuned up and cranking out warm up riffs can be heard up the stairs. Martyn gets to the top and heads for the door to room 401, unlocking it and stepping inside.

    The other members of the band are all here: SARAH, who is performing vocal warm up exercises by the apartments window, and is 25, same height as Martyn with wavy black shoulder length hair, wearing a floor length black sparkly dress; STEVEN, sat cross legged on the floor next to a guitar amp and a stack of effects units, fiddling around with a large circuit board that appears to be part of one of the units, who is 24, average height, wiry frame, with neck length parted hair and a pointy moustache/beard combo, wearing an obscure industrial band's t-shirt, combats and a baseball cap; JOHN, who is loading things into his keyboard stand while absent mindedly flicking through channels on the TV, who is 23, tall, well built with shorter parted black hair, wearing a NIN hooded top and combats; NEIL, who is restringing his bass guitar, the youngest at 21, 5' 9" but very thin, with big brown eyes and slicked parted black hair, but smartly dressed in expensive looking black trousers and a grey shirt; and JIM, whose drum kit sits in several pieces around him as he plays furiously on the Playstation in the other corner of the room, who is 23, 6', well built with a floppy brown hairdo and big, mischievously glinting eyes. Jim wears a pair of faded jeans and a plain red t-shirt. The apartment is sparsely furnished but it is all these guys need - guitars, keyboards, amps and drum kits take up most of the space. The floor is bare except for odd patches of rug, and there are two large, squashy sofas. The general detritus of six twentysomethings living together covers every available surface - magazines, food wrappers, videos, CD cases and the like. As Martyn enters they all stop their fiddling and turn to look expectantly at him.

    SARAH

    Well?

     

     

    STEVEN

    Any luck today?

     

     

    MARTYN

    I got us something.

     

     

    NEIL

    Yes! What?

     

     

    MARTYN

    I have no idea.

     

     

    JIM

    This isn't going to be

    another wind up, is it?

     

     

    JOHN

    Yeah, like that radio station

    launch party.

     

     

    NEIL

    The pirate station?

     

     

    JOHN

    The one that got raided by the

    police while we were playing.

     

     

    STEVEN

    Yeah, Sarah got confiscated.

     

     

    SARAH

    I was not resisting arrest!

     

     

    STEVEN

    No, but your outfit was very

    arresting.

     

     

    JOHN

    Yeah, the schoolgirl thing

    did the trick alright.

     

     

    MARTYN

    (coughs to gain their attention)

    Hem-hem.

     

     

    SARAH

    Sorry, you were saying?

     

     

    MARTYN

    I went to see Barrington at

    Waning Bros. Records today.

     

     

    JOHN

    Why them?

     

     

    MARTYN

    Lucky hunch.

     

     

    JIM
    So you weren't thrown out of

    a car in front of the nearest

    record company this time?

     

     

    MARTYN
    (beat)

    No. Anyway, they're holding

    some kind of A&R thing this

    evening, and they invited us

    along.

     

     

    NEIL
    What time?

     

     

    MARTYN

    Their building, at 8.

     

     

    STEVEN

    That only gives us..

    (consults watch)

    two and a half hours.

     

     

    MARTYN

    We've got ready in less.

     

     

    SARAH

    Yeah, the Philadelphia

    Experiment comes to mind.

     

     

    JIM

    I'm not the one who wanted

    the full pyrotechnics show!

     

     

    JOHN

    You weren't the one who got

    electrocuted when the sprinkler

    system shorted out my keyboards,

    either..

     

     

    MARTYN
    ANYWAY!!

     

    They all turn to look. Martyn holds up the (now pretty battered) demo CD.

    MARTYN

    Mr. Barrington listened to the

    demo, liked it, made us a

    proposition. He's planning this

    new tour or something..

     

    Dissolve as Martyn explains things to the outside of the Waning Bros. building, accelerated time photography to fast forward two and a half hours. As night falls, the building and those around it gradually light up for the night, and a stream of people head inside - the other bands and their entourages. The accelerated time shot stops as we watch the Wavelength tour bus, a plain black minivan with the band's logo on the side, pull up at the entrance to the underground parking lot at the side of the building. A security barrier and guard stop the bus at the entrance, and Martyn winds the window down to address the guard.

    MARTYN

    Hi, we're -

     

     

    GUARD #5

    All bands head for the

    far side of the lot.

     

     

    MARTYN

    How did -

     

     

    GUARD #5

    It's the van. In you go.

     

    The barrier lifts and the bus drives inside. Inside the tour bus, we see that the six members are quite cramped with their equipment squeezed in as well, but are upbeat and chatting about what to expect. Martyn parks the bus next to a line of similar minivans, and the band slide the side doors open and climb out. Two uniformed Waning Bros. staff come over to help them unload. A large elevator can be seen about ten metres away, and the lift doors are just closing on another band, five guys looking like rockers. The skin on their drum kit can be read, and it says "Southern Voodoo."

    UNLOADER #1

    So, who are you guys?

     

     

    MARTYN

    We're Wavelength.

     

     

    UNLOADER #2

    Oh yeah, the British guys.

     

     

    STEVEN

    How do you know?

     

     

    UNLOADER #2

    We've all been briefed on who's

    attending tonight. We always get

    a few uninvited guests trying to

    sneak in.

     

     

    SARAH

    How many other bands are there?

     

     

    UNLOADER #1

    Eight including you.

     

     

    NEIL
    So four go and four stay?

     

     

    UNLOADER #1

    Right. You get time to set up

    and soundcheck, then you get

    three songs to impress the

    bosses.

     

     

    MARTYN

    No problem.

     

    One of the show's organisers, a thirty year old brunette woman called MADELINE, walks over. She is tall, slim and dressed in expensive jeans and a CK top - your standard outfit for a suit in "casuals." She holds a clipboard and takes down the details of the band. As she talks to them, an old, beaten up bus coughs and splutters its way in and parks up next to the Wavelength bus. Martyn and Steven walk round to see who the other band is, but the van's panels are blank. The engine backfires a few times then comes to a stop, and the van's doors are thrown open. Smoke pours out from the inside, and the members of UNDERDOG step out, coughing and trying to waft away the fumes.

    Alex is the same height as Martyn but a little stockier, with short spiky black hair and glasses, wearing all black. Simon is tall, wiry and sporting a brown closely shaven head, with the bombed out look of someone whose nervous system has seen better days. Simon wears a brown leather jacket with a blue t-shirt and black jeans. Ian is short and thin, with closely cropped black hair and glasses, wearing jeans and a t-shirt. Rob is Martyn's height, pretty skinny, and dressed in a garish clash of t-shirt, long sleeve and bermuda shirt. Matthew is short and of average build, with very curly blonde hair and a big baggy jumper on over his jeans.

    ALEX

    How old is this damn thing?

     

     

    IAN
    Older than your last girlfriend,

    that's for sure.

     

     

    ROB

    Smells alright to me.

     

     

    ALEX
    This coming from a man who

    washes in the morning by dousing

    himself in baby powder..

     

     

    ROB

    Never had any complaints so far.

    Not that anyone comes near enough..

     

     

    SIMON

    (emerging from the smoke)

    What? What? Are we at war?

     

     

    ALEX

    Calm down, dude. It's okay.

    We're here, not back in 'Nam.

     

     

    SIMON

    Right. Yes. Good. Okay then.

     

     

    MARTYN

    Er, hi there.

     

     

    ALEX
    Hey.

    (comes over, shakes hands)

    I'm Alex. This is my band,

    Underdog.

     

     

    MARTYN

    I'm Martyn, this is Steve.

    We're Wavelength.

     

     

    ALEX
    So, what's the story here?

    I mean, we've heard about

    this cross-country tour thing,

    but we're still a bit in the dark.

     

     

    STEVEN

    (off Rob)

    So I see.

     

     

    IAN

    We need to make it onto

    the tour. Things aren't looking

    too rosy for us right now.

     

     

    ALEX
    Yeah, this is a one way trip

    for us.

     

    As if to compliment him, the Underdog bus groans once and then collapses down as its wheels fall off. The bus seems to sag visibly, its spirit leaving once and for all.

    ALEX
    Literally.

     

     

    MARTYN

    Here. We'll help you guys

    load up and then we'll all

    head upstairs.

     

     

    IAN

    Thanks a lot.

     

    The unloaders come over and help Underdog get their stuff out, before the two bands and their equipment are helped into the lift and sent up to the stage floor.

    The doors open and we are greeted with a large room and a stage at one end roughly six feet off the ground. There is a dazzling array of lights bathing the stage in several different colours as the technicians play around and test things out, and there is a buzz of voices and activity as the six other bands sort themselves out. Two EXECUTIVES, trying to dress smart and official, yet still "trendy," walk over. The first, BLACKSHAW, wearing a Pearl Jam "Ten" cap on, shakes the hands of Alex and Martyn enthusiastically. The other, PETE, looks on with a roll of his eyes at his colleague and greets the other band members.

    BLACKSHAW

    Hello! Hello! Welcome

    aboard, boys. Good to see

    you. Oh, and hello, er, girl.

     

     

    SARAH

    Thanks.

     

     

    PETE

    What my colleague here is

    trying to say is, put your

    stuff over there and then go

    mingle with the other bands.

    We'll sort you out a soundcheck

    slot in a second.

     

     

    MARTYN

    Cheers.

     

     

    ALEX
    So how does this work?

     

     

    BLACKSHAW
    You each play three songs. The

    four bands we like best, after a

    vote by the members of the board,

    will go on the tour.

     

     

    STEVEN

    What's the tour called?

     

     

    PETE
    Provisionally, "Bands On The

    Run."

     

     

    IAN

    (sideways look at Rob and Simon)

    How appropriate.

     

     

    PETE

    We'll tell you more about the

    tour if you actually get on it.

     

     

    MARTYN

    Then let's get set up.

     

    The two bands lug their equipment over towards the stage, glancing around at the crowd of people in front of it as they pass. The other six bands are formed into separate groups, and then there are twenty or so executives and office staff milling around and chatting to the bands. From the equipment cases and drum skins, we see SOUTHERN VOODOO again, then four goth chicks who are HAIKU, next to four long-haired metalheads called SPITBOX, followed by five glam rock types called DABROWSKI, then three punks who are HAIL TO THE KING, and finally two girls and two boys who all look like very out-of-place trendies, called REVOLUTION BABY. Underdog and Wavelength dump their stuff down and begin taking guitars out of cases, setting up keyboard stands, etc. Scanning around, Martyn catches the eye of one of the girls from Haiku, who smiles as her bandmates talk around her. Martyn grins back and waves. She waves back. She is short and pretty, slim with long, curly blonde hair. Dressed like her bandmates in a mix of blacks and reds, she looks good. Martyn keeps his eye on her for a beat, but then he is tapped on the shoulder by Steven, and the two of them help Jim unload his drum kit. Martyn glances back, but the girl and her band are now busy talking to one of the executives. Blackshaw and Madeline step onto the stage. Blackshaw taps one of the three microphones set up, causing a feedback whine which makes everyone wince in pain.

    BLACKSHAW

    Uh, ah, sorry. Well! Here we

    all are then. All eight of you,

    ready to find out which four

    will be on Waning Bros. records'

    inaugural Bands On The Run!

     

    Blackshaw waits for the applause. After a long beat, the suits get the message and start clapping, followed by the bands. Blackshaw sighs with relief.

    MADELINE

    We'll be on our way soon.

    The two bands left to sound

    check are..

    (consults clipboard)

    Wavelength and Underdog.

    If those two groups would

    like to make their way over to

    the stage, the rest of you are

    free to watch or head for the

    refreshments over there.

     

    She points, and we follow her aim to a long row of tables against one wall. Lots of plates of food, beer and drink are set up there. Without a second's hesitation, every member of the other bands heads for the free food and beer, leaving only the executives in front of the stage. They look at one another for a second, then head for the food too.

    JOHN
    Good job. I hate people

    watching us check.

     

     

    SIMON

    Why's that?

     

     

    JOHN

    Not that it's like a free

    preview, it's just an easy

    way for people to not like

    you straight away as you

    tune up and get settled.

     

     

    ALEX
    I hear ya. You never play

    well straight away. You

    gotta warm up first.

     

     

    ROB

    I got the best way to warm up!

    (swigs from a bottle of JD)

    Now let's go before I can't

    focus anymore!

     

     

    IAN

    Hey Rob, how does the bass

    line to "Jeremy" go?

     

     

    ROB

    Screw you!

     

     

    MARTYN

    Huh?

     

     

    IAN
    Long story. We'll tell you

    later on.

     

     

    MADELINE

    Wavelength, you ready?

     

     

    STEVEN

    Yup.

     

    Wavelength plug in, tune up and let rip, playing one of their songs. We cut over to the refreshments stand, where the other bands, armed with their free stuff, are leaning against the tables and watching the band play. Everyone looks impressed apart from Dabrowksi and Southern Voodoo. Wavelength finish and Underdog step up, playing their main song. Again, Dabrowksi and Southern Voodoo look bored. They want to show the execs how good they are and show up the other bands. Wavelength and Underdog both get a round of applause when they finish. Blackshaw calls all the bands back over.

    BLACKSHAW

    Right, we're all set. First on are

    Southern Voodoo, next are

    Dabrowski, then Haiku, Spitbox,

    Revolution Baby, Hail To The King,

    Underdog and Wavelength. So

    let's get started!

     

     

    MADELINE

    Southern Voodoo, please make

    your way to the stage.

     

    The other bands manage a round of sporting applause as Voodoo take their guitars up and start playing. We watch one song of each band, dissolving from one to the next and playing about a minute of each. Voodoo play a bouncy, RATM style number that goes down well. Dabrowski play a painfully waily heavy indie song that almost gets booed. Haiku hit out with a rocky goth song, punctuated by excellent guitar solos. Spitbox thrash out a fast speed metal tune which isn't bad, but a bit too extreme for what the executives want. Revolution Baby, looking very uncomfortable, turn out a radio friendly Transvision Vamp-esque number, which is met with very weak applause afterwards. Hail To The King get through three songs in five minutes flat, 100% pure punk. Underdog's U2 style song is a big hit, as is Wavelength's NIN sounding tune. When all the bands have finished, they take up positions before the stage again as Blackshaw and Madeline take to the stage again.

    MADELINE
    Thanks to everyone. The

    panel will make their decisions

    shortly. In the meantime, well,

    you know where the free stuff is.

     

    The crowd of musicians head back to the free food as the suits huddle and talk to each other, with Madeline and Blackshaw making marks on their clipboards as they talk. After the marks have been made, Madeline takes the stage one last time.

    MADELINE

    Okay, here are the votes.

    Southern Voodoo, 20 votes. You're

    on the tour. Dabrowski, 0 votes.

    Sorry, guys. Haiku, 15 votes. You're

    on the tour too.

     

    Haiku whoop with delight and are congratulated by the other bands, except Dabrowski, who sulk and start loading up with the rest of the free food and drink to compensate themselves.

    MADELINE

    Spitbox, 8 votes. Revolution

    Baby, 3 votes. Hail To The King,

    4 votes. Underdog, 15 votes. You're

    on the tour. And last up, Wavelength,

    20 votes. You're the fourth band.

     

    Cheers. Applause. Spitbox, Revolution Baby and Hail To The King are gracious in defeat. Southern Voodoo look smug and pleased, like this was just a formality. Alex and Martyn congratulate each other.

    ALEX
    Nice work, man.

     

     

    MARTYN

    You too. Now comes the

    hard part.

     

     

    ALEX
    Aah, it'll be a cinch.

     

     

    MADELINE

    If the four winning bands

    could follow my associates

    upstairs to the meeting room,

    my staff will help you pack up

    your gear. My condolences to

    the four losers. Better luck next

    time.

     

    The bands pack up their stuff. Martyn manoeuvres himself so he can bump into the girl from Haiku he was smiling at earlier. She is hefting up the bass drum from her kit into its bag when Martyn nudges her. She almost drops it, but he helps her grab it.

    MARTYN

    Whoops! Almost lost you

    there.

     

     

    ALICIA

    Thanks. I'm Alicia.

     

     

    MARTYN

    Martyn.

    (they shake hands, more smiles)

    Good job up there.

     

     

    ALICIA

    You too! That's an interesting

    sound you guys have.

     

     

    MARTYN

    "Interesting" is one word for

    it. "Hard to explain" are a few

    more. We're a bit too different

    to fit in most places.

     

     

    ALICIA

    Try being in an all girl goth

    band.

     

     

    EMILY
    Tell me about it! We get two

    lots of hassle - one for being

    girls, and two for wearing black

    and listening to Siouxsie and the

    Banshees.

     

     

    ALICIA
    Allow me to introduce my girls.

    That's Emily.

     

     

    EMILY

    Hi.

     

     

    ALICIA

    Professional man-hater and band

    founder. That there is Kate.

     

    Kate waves with a quick, shy glance up. She's a lot more covered up than the other girls, and doesn't say much either. Kate is short and a little stocky with curly ginger hair, dressed in black and not showing too much of her pale skin. Emily, however, is hot and knows it. Dressed to kill in a PVC miniskirt and bust-flattering black and white top, her shoulder-length black hair floats from side to side as she whips her head round, keeping an eye on everything. Jesse is tall and another redhead, in a short black leather coat and a long skirt underneath.

    ALICIA

    She's the quiet one. And that

    there is Jesse, our career girl.

     

     

    JESSE
    Don't be fooled. Having a real

    job just pays the bills of being

    a rock star.

     

     

    MARTYN

    Well, my crew is Steven, Neil,

    Jim, John and Sarah. Looks like

    we'll all get chance to get more

    acquainted on the tour.

     

     

    ALICIA

    I hope so.

     

     

    MARTYN

    Right, I've got to dash. Catch

    you girls later!

     

     

    ALICIA

    See you soon.

     

     

    JESSE

    (off Martyn as he walks away)

    Cute.

     

     

    ALICIA
    Not bad at all.

     

     

    EMILY

    If you turn traitor to the band,

    you're walking home, sister.

     

     

    ALICIA

    Don't tempt me!

     

    Back with Underdog, Alex and Ian wander over to meet the Southern Voodoo boys. Lawrence is a little taller than Martyn and well built with it, with short, curly brown hair and the kind of good looks that leaves babies all over the world. Lawrence is dressed in the ever-vague "smart casual" way, with a swish leather jacket and smart trousers and a shirt on. Jeffries, average height with very pale blonde hair, is in sports gear, brand name tops and tracksuit bottoms. Bill is tall at 6' 3" and powerfully packed, dressed plainly in a tight-fitting t-shirt and jeans. Mike is shorter than his fellows but you can tell he works out. As classically handsome as Lawrence, he dresses like an extra from Goodfellas. Rich is a physically unattractive ginger guy, in the band to make his bandmates look more visually appealing. Tall and stocky, he shares Jeffries's taste in sports gear.

    ALEX
    Hey there. I’m Alex, this is

    Ian.

     

     

    LAWRENCE

    Lawrence. This is Jeffries,

    Bill, Mike and Rich.

     

     

    IAN
    Good show up there.

     

     

    JEFFRIES
    We know! We knew we

    could make it. You three

    were the only real competition.

     

     

    ALEX
    I dunno, Spitbox weren't bad.

     

     

    BILL

    Yeah, but we're better.

     

     

    IAN

    (with a "these guys are pricks" look)

    Well, we'd best finish packing

    up.

     

     

    ALEX
    Yup, see you boys later.

     

     

    IAN

    (once out of earshot)

    They seem confident.

     

     

    ALEX
    Yeah, a little too confident.

     

     

    IAN

    Remind me to beat them.

     

    Back with Southern Voodoo, packed up and enjoying a post-gig smoke.

    LAWRENCE

    Bunch of pussies. This'll be

    a cakewalk.

     

     

    BILL

    I dunno, the other bands

    are pretty good.

     

     

    JEFFRIES
    We'll be fine, I think.

     

     

    MIKE
    We have plenty of back

    up plans, remember?

     

     

    BILL

    Suits me.

     

    Cut to the conference room. A long, rectangular table with three chairs at its head and a map of the States on the wall behind it. Framed photos of the company's big name artists and their platinum records adorn the walls. The four bands file in and take their seats, admiring the rock and roll heritage on display. Martyn and Alicia end up opposite one another, grinning like schoolkids as they chat to their bandmates. The doors open again as Barrington walks in, followed by BLAKE and KENNY, the other two Chief Executives. The bands quieten down as the three suits take their seats. Blake is tall and thin, while Kenny is short and dumpy.

    BARRINGTON
    Hello everyone. This is Mr. Blake

    and Mr. Kenny, chief execs here at

    Waning Bros. Records. I'd like to be

    the first to congratulate you on

    making it onto the Bands On The

    Run 2001 tour. Well done.

     

    The bands exchange satisfied looks with one another. Blake and Kenny bring up manilla folders and start passing them down the table to each of the bands.

    BARRINGTON
    While my colleagues here pass

    around some handy information

    for you all, I'll explain the details

    of the tour a little bit better.

     

    Barrington stands and paces around the room, behind the chairs, smoking a cigar as he talks.

    BARRINGTON

    Each band will receive a brand

    spanking new tour bus, with

    a trailer to carry your equipment

    and plenty of room for the band

    members inside. Fuel will be paid

    for through credit cards we will

    issue you. Each member will receive

    $20 a day spending money, but if

    you wish to use money from your

    ticket and merch sales, you may.

    In each city along the route, you

    have each been assigned a venue

    to play, and you will have two days

    in each city to promote your show

    and sell merchandise, supplies of

    which we have already begun to

    arrange with your management.

    Or your mother, in Underdog's

    case.

     

     

    ALEX
    Hey, what can I say, she's

    our biggest fan.

     

     

    IAN
    Some would say only.

     

     

    BARRINGTON

    We will add up the totals for

    each city along the way, with

    bonus opportunities for cash

    also arranged should you choose

    to accept them, and the band who

    has the most money at the tour's

    close will be the winner, and will

    sign a record contract with me on

    your return. Any questions?

     

     

    MARTYN
    Where will we stay?

     

     

    BARRINGTON
    Hotel reservations are already

    booked. Bed, breakfast and dinner.

    During the day, you take care of

    yourself.

     

     

    LAWRENCE
    What do you get out of this?

     

     

    BARRINGTON

    A proven band and crap loads

    of free publicity.

     

     

    EMILY

    What kinds of places will we

    be playing?

     

     

    BARRINGTON

    Mostly rock clubs. Decent places

    to go. No-one gets stiffed with the

    town's crap place.

     

     

    STEVEN

    What about promotion? How

    can we go about that?

     

     

    BARRINGTON
    You'll get fliers and posters at

    each stop, but radio appearances,

    public gigs, that sort of thing

    is positively encouraged. Is that

    everything?

     

    Nods and murmurs of assent. Everyone seems satisfied.

    BARRINGTON

    Good. We'll meet back here at

    10am tomorrow to give you

    your trucks and your first

    lot of cash. Accommodation

    for the night is arranged at

    the B&B over the road. Try

    not to be late. Bands on the

    run, dismissed!

     

    The bands get up and shuffle out of the room, chatting to one another and shaking hands with Barrington and the other two suits on their way out. When they have all left, the three suits sit down again and relax.

    BARRINGTON
    Well? Are we onto a

    good thing here?

     

     

    BLAKE

    They all look great. I

    think we're onto a winner

    whoever gets it.

     

     

    KENNY

    I think it'll be either Southern

    Voodoo or Wavelength.

     

     

    BARRINGTON

    Why?

     

     

    KENNY
    Voodoo are the most professional,

    but Wavelength are unusual

    enough to be very appealing.

    I think we'll see a good match.

     

     

    BLAKE
    What about the other two?

     

     

    KENNY

    Haiku are four chicks. 'Nuff said.

    Name me an all-girl band that

    ever got anywhere.

     

     

    BARRINGTON

    The Bangles. The Spice Girls.

    Toto Coleo. Bananarama.

     

     

    KENNY
    A rock band.

     

     

    BLAKE
    Kitte? Drain? The Donnas? L7?

    Pat Benatar? Bonnie Tyler?

     

     

    KENNY

    'Nuff said.

     

     

    BARRINGTON

    Kenny, you talk a lot of crap.

    Why not Underdog?

     

     

    KENNY

    A van full of pissheads. Only

    the Stones and Aerosmith ever

    got big acting like that.

     

     

    BARRINGTON

    We'll have to find out, then,

    won't we?

     

    Dissolve to a nightclub, and a big party. The four winning bands have been joined by Hail To The King and Spitbox, and they are all tearing the place up. Rock music blasts out of the places speakers as band members dance, drink and try to get their hands on any ladies (or guys, in Jesse's case). Martyn is trying to speak to Alicia but they can't hear each other over the noise. He gives up, and motions for the two of them to head outside. Steven and Jim watch them go, then Jim laughs as Steven shakes his head and hands over some money - clearly the bets are already on.

    Outside, Martyn and Alicia sit on beer crates outside the club's rear entrance. It is halfway down an alley, and we can see the street at the far end of it. Alicia smokes, both are drinking bottled beers.

    MARTYN

    So what do we think?

     

     

    ALICIA

    About the club? Noisy.

     

     

    MARTYN
    This tour. The whole thing

    seems a little..

     

     

    ALICIA

    Yeah, I know. Too good to

    be true?

     

     

    MARTYN
    I keep thinking at any minute

    I'm going to hear an alarm go

    off, and when I wake up I'll

    be back at my flat and none of

    this will have happened.

     

     

    ALICIA

    (making a noise like an alarm clock)

    Baaa! Baaa! Baaa!

     

     

    MARTYN

    (grins)

    Knock it off!

     

     

    ALICIA

    (smiles)

    Sorry. You're a nice guy,

    Martyn.

     

     

    MARTYN
    Yeah, I hear that a lot. Usually

    right before: "And I still want

    us to be friends, but.."

     

     

    ALICIA

    You're too hard on yourself.

     

     

    MARTYN
    Sometimes you have to be your

    own critic. Keeps your feet on the

    ground.

     

     

    ALICIA

    I think we have just reason

    to celebrate tonight.

     

     

    MARTYN
    Yeah, I guess so. I'm just

    trying not to get carried away

    by all this.

     

     

    ALICIA

    Not yet, anyway..

     

    They smile at each other. The air of flirting gets a lot more intense all of a sudden. There's an obvious, mutual attraction between these two. Alicia stubs out her cigarette and eyes Martyn up, looking like she wants to kiss him, when - BEEP BEEP BEEP! Her beeper goes off, killing the moment. They both laugh at the irony of it all. Martyn stands, helps Alicia to her feet.

    ALICIA

    You know, you're the first guy

    who hasn't either said he "finds

    the whole vampire thing really

    sexy," or "always goes for the

    freaky ones."

     

     

    MARTYN
    I'm honoured.. I think.

     

     

    ALICIA

    I have a feeling this tour may

    turn out pretty good after all.

    (checks her bleeper)

    It's my mom. I gotta call home.

    I'll see you in the morning. Say

    bye to the others for me!

     

    She swigs the last of her beer, throws her bottle O.S. with a smash, then jogs down the alley back out onto the street. Martyn goes to head back inside, but stops in the doorway to watch her go. As she gets to the end of the alley, she turns, sees him, smiles, and blows him a kiss. Martyn catches it and goes inside.

    Inside the club, the music has slowed down a little. Most of the musicians are now very thoroughly wasted, slowdancing with whoever is in reach or propping up the bar. Martyn rejoins his band members, sat at a table against one wall except for Sarah and Steven, the group's couple, who dance over on the dancefloor. Martyn sits back down and is passed a beer by Jim.

    JIM

    There you go, my friend.

     

     

    MARTYN

    Thanks.

     

     

    JOHN

    How was the alleyway?

     

     

    MARTYN

    Guys, I think I'm in love.

     

     

    JOHN

    You'll have to do pretty good

    to beat Bonnie & Clyde over

    there.

    (points to Sarah and Steven)

    Our resident lovebirds have

    been on the happy pills all

    night so far.

     

     

    MARTYN

    I think I might join them.

     

     

    NEIL

    Threesome! Alright!

     

    Neil is slapped good naturedly by the others. Slow fade to:

    Morning. Wavelength are tucked up in their beds at the B&B, dozing quietly. Martyn and Jim are already up, sitting out on the room's balcony watching the sunrise, sipping from huge coffee mugs. We cut to see them from outside the balcony, then pan across the other rooms. All the bands are on the same floor. Underdog are next door, then Voodoo, then Haiku. Underdog are all asleep, still blasted from last night's partying. Voodoo are all up, getting ready for the meeting back at the record company. In Haiku's room, Alicia and Kate sit out on the balcony, sipping coffee like Martyn and Jim. We cut between the two balconies as the conversation flows.

    MARTYN

    I'm telling you, Jim, that girl

    is beautiful.

     

     

    JIM

    I know, I saw her too! She

    is pretty fit.

     

     

    ALICIA

    He's pretty cute, isn't he?

     

     

    KATE

    Very. Nice eyes.

     

     

    MARTYN

    This gorgeous hair that looks

    all shiny and lovely..

     

     

    JIM

    (sniggers)

    You've got it bad. Been a

    while since we last, er..

    (mimes having a wank)

    ..has it, sir?

     

     

    ALICIA

    I had an interesting dream last

    night.

     

     

    KATE

    Who was in it?

     

     

    ALICIA

    He was. And me.

    (off Kate's raised eyebrow)

    There was nudity.

     

    The girls laugh and carry on drinking their coffee, before Emily calls them and they go back inside. Back to Jim and Martyn.

    MARTYN

    Seems weird that I'll be

    trying to beat her.

     

     

    JIM

    Dude, you hardly know her!

     

     

    MARTYN

    I mean in the contest.

     

     

    JIM

    Yeah, I know. It's like we've

    just made friends with these

    people and now we have to

    go out and try to outperform

    them all!

     

     

    MARTYN

    Won't be hard to beat Southern

    Voodoo.

     

     

    JIM

    Guess not.

     

    They go back inside. Lawrence, in the room next door, pokes his head round the balcony as they go.

    LAWRENCE

    We'll see.

     

    The parking lot of the Waning Bros. building. The bands are assembled in various states of alertness, with Underdog looking the worse for wear, clad in sunglasses and displaying messy bedhead hairdos. Haiku are neatly turned out, as are Southern Voodoo. Wavelength look relaxed, joking with members of Underdog as they wait for the record company staff to arrive. They are standing next to four minivans and their trailers, each displaying the logo of the band they serve - black for Haiku, blue for Wa