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EXTRAS By Russell Dean Anderson FADE IN: GRAY SCREEN. An instrumental version of a well-known Broadway show tune is playing. The words "ACTING IS..." in large white letters fill the screen. The words fade out and a series of quotes on acting take turns on the screen. These quotes are from famous actors from the past century as they reveal their secrets of what they personally think "Acting is". CUT TO: INT.- DALE AND SADIE'S NYC STUDIO APARTMENT ANGLE ON: An opened page of a day-planner turned to December 11th. In huge letters it reads in the box, "OPEN CALL am". This day-planner will be referenced throughout the story and act as the time line. PAN OUT: The camera pans off of the page and around the studio apartment. We hear the same opening show tune being faintly being hummed. As we get closer to the bathroom door, the humming gets louder. The camera stops on Dale Singer, a decent looking man in his mid thirties, sitting on the toilet. We've found our hummer. He finishes his business, lights a stick of incense, pokes it into his soap on his sink, and gets naked to step into the shower. His bathroom is the size of a closet. The camera pans around the bathroom focusing in on his personal belongings giving us a sense of Dale's identity. His wife, Sadie,an attractive brunette with a killer body enters the bathroom to get made up. She's weaving in and out of Dale's morning ritual, getting ready for work herself. She's a professional business woman. Neither one of them speak. There is tension in the air coming from her. Still humming he steps out of the shower and begins to dry off. He slips into a fresh pair of boxers and stands in front of a mirror with make-up bulbs surrounding the frame. He plucks some hairs from his eyebrow and clips a few nose hairs. He does the morning routine of shaving, throwing some product in his hair, brushing his teeth, etc. His hot and cold water taps on his sink are comedy and tragedy faces. After he's finished freshening up, he glances into the mirror and looks at his profile at different angles and makes a few face stretches to loosen up his facial muscles. He leaves the bathroom in his boxers, and heads to his bedroom which is filled with every sort of old movie memorabilia you could imagine. He deliberates for a while over his wardrobe for the day. He grabs his coffee and eats his bagel as he's getting ready, still humming along to song. Sadie gives him a peck on the cheek, grabs her briefcase and heads to work. Dale heads back to the bathroom and applies a bit of foundation to his face and adds a bit of color to his cheeks. He wipes on some deodorant, shoots a couple of mists of cologne and heads out to get dressed. As he's getting dressed, he glances to his clock on the wall and it reads 7:48 AM. He's in good shape, because his appointment isn't until 9 AM. Dale ties the last few pictures to a potted evergreen that he intends to use as a gift. The evergreen is dotted with mini head-shots of Dale with his name at the bottom of each and every one. He puts some money in his pocket along with a metro card and his keys with a plastic broken leg on the ring. He decides to sit down and triple check that he has everything that he needs for his appointment. He thumbs through some papers and head-shots, composition cards and various post-it notes with his appointments. He transfers a few over to his day planner and get's up to sharpen all of his pencils. For the fourth time, he checks to make sure he's got his SAG card. As he reaches for the card, he glances at his watch and the time is 8:45 AM. He looks back at the clock on the wall and it still reads 7:48 AM. He totally freaks and grabs his briefcase coat and scarf and runs for the door. He's in a panic and he can't find his keys which are in his hand. He finally finds them and takes a deep breath, and checks himself in a mirror by the door which looks like a movie slate. He leaves his apartment door locking his scarf into the door. The door opens and he yanks the scarf out and slams it shut. He reopens the door and goes over to fetch the potted evergreen. CUT TO: EXT.-NYC STREET MORNING-SNOWY EARLY DECEMBER Dale slipping down the sidewalk dodging in and out of fellow pedestrians. He zigzags his way to the church and manically crosses the street and is narrowly missed by a cab that skids on the ice to a crooked stop. He heads down an alleyway that leads to the church basement. Dale enters a line of actors waiting to be let into the open call. It's cold and snowing, and not one of the actors in line are happy about being left in the cold. Dale cannot seem to juggle all of his belongings comfortably. He doesn't want to set his briefcase down in the snow and he's trying to keep the flakes off of his mini head-shots. It's a losing battle. Most of the pictures are dotted with moisture. Finally the line starts to move and the actors are let in one by one. CUT TO: INT.-CHURCH BASEMENT-OPEN CALL The room is filled with row upon row of children's desks that are way too small to hold some of these adult actors. They are the chairs with writing tables attached to them. The desks are equipped with papers and golf pencils. The actors file into the room and squeeze their bodies into these undersize desks. Lot's of sucking in and commotion stirs until, Dale the last actor in the room wedges into the desk. At the front of the room is a long table with 3 young casting assistants sitting behind the table in chairs. The table is filled with papers and pencils and other office supplies. Above the table is a large banner that reads, "ORDINARY CASTING". Judith Silver is standing in front of the table patiently waiting for everyone to take their seats. Other peoples tardiness has affected her schedule. Judith is 4 foot 8 inches and is somewhere in her late sixties. She is the owner of the extras casting agency called "Ordinary Casting", and has been in this business for a little over three decades. She is very well known in the business. Everyone settles and Judith paces back and forth in front of the room. All of the actors eyes are on her. She's like a god in this business and most everyone in the room is in awe of her presence. They all wait quietly for her to speak. She is about to speak the first words in the film. JUDITH (pacing and shouting) You are not actors....I said, you are not actors. Did everyone get that? I will say it one last time so you can get this through your thick skulls....You are not actors! We have a strict rule of being on time and I can see that some of you need a lesson on time management. Wear a watch. If you don't have a watch, then get one today. I will not tolerate any excuses on tardiness. You are all about to receive the privilege of working with my company, "Ordinary Casting". If anyone doesn't like my tone, you can get up and walk right out of that door you entered. ANGLE ON: The actors all sitting at tiny desks watching this woman pace across the room. Some of their faces are watching in disbelief. The camera goes back to the pacer. BACK TO: JUDITH (still pacing) I am not a baby-sitter. You are not my responsibility. I owe you nothing! You will work my way or you won't work at all. Am I clear? ANGLE ON: A gentleman with his child gets up to leave and the desk gets up with him. He pulls the desk down off from his stomach, gathers his things and walks toward the door with his son. BACK TO: JUDITH Sir...sir...hey you..fatso..I'm talking to you. The gentleman ignores her and exits through the door with his son. BACK TO: JUDITH Anyone else? Go ahead...go if you think that I'm going to spoon feed you. I don't need any of you, so do it now or just shut up and listen. See, these are the types of demonstrations that set me off. Jimmy, I need to sit. You to take over. ANGLE ON: Jimmy, a heavy-set kid in his early twenties. He's been Judith's assistant for a whole year. There seems to be a high turn around at "Ordinary Casting". Jimmy is only speaking for Judith on the account that she tires easily. Judith takes a seat in a chair that could fit 3 of her and Jimmy steps up with papers in his hand, to take over. He feels empowered and uses this to his advantage. JIMMY (gruff and jaded) Yes, so on your desks you should each have a typed print out of "Ordinary Casting's" do's and don'ts. I will go over them with DALE I'm sorry excuse me... I don't have the list. JIMMY Sir...don't interrupt me. Do you see how many people are here today? If everyone was as disrespectful as you, we'd be here all day even though we plan to be here all day. The point is we'd be here till tomorrow if...oh forget it. Just let me get through the list and then we will answer questions. So as I was saying, you should all have a list in front of you. Hang onto this list. Memorize it. You will not be given another one. It's a good idea to make copies of it in case you lose it. You should also keep a copy next to your phone so you can remember. It's simple...if you do the do's and don't do the don'ts, you will be called to work with us someday. So let's get started. 1/ DO NOT call the office unless we have called you. 2/ DO NOT EVER stop by the office unless we ask you to. 3/ DO NOT ask us how long the shoot will go. 4/ You are available to work ONLY if you are free the entire day and night. 5/ Keep in touch with our office ONLY by picture post cards, once every three to four weeks, and DO NOT send cards to each person in.. Dale's cell phone rings and he takes the call. Jimmy walks over and stands above him. Dale continues to whisper a conversation on the cell and Jimmy yanks the cell from Dale's head, snaps it closed and jams it into his back pocket. You can have the phone when were done and if anyone else has a phone or pager with them, turn them off. Okay Mr. Inconsiderate...where was I? 6/ Do not continue to send us the same 8X10 photo. If you have a new photo that you know we don't have on file, then send it to our office and mark on the envelope: REGISTERED EXTRA-UPDATED PHOTO. 7/ If you need to update information, such as new phone numbers, addresses, or that you are leaving town for an extended period of time, let us know by card ONLY and state that this info needs to be changed ASAP. Do not call the office. 8/ YOU MUST ALWAYS BE PAID UP with SAG in order to work and you MUST bring your up-to- date SAG card to the set, or you will be sent home. Making a copy of the card isn't a bad idea. 9/ Leave a short and clear outgoing message on your machine and NOT music or some monologue that you think is brilliant. 10/ Be ready to work at any time we call you. Mornings, weekends and holidays. This is not a 9 to 5 business, but a 24/7 business with unorthodox hours. 11/ DO NOT request us by phone, mail or otherwise to hire you for work because you need to qualify for insurance. We don't care. Your health is not our problem. You are not are responsibility. We have thousands of extras in our files and what are we supposed to do...care about each and every one? 12/ Bring the wardrobe pressed and clean when you come to the set unless your playing a bum or bag lady. Have some respect for yourselves and look good on the set. By you looking good it makes us look good. Okay that should cover about everything. I'll answer a few questions and then we'll get you up here and register you. You should all have pencils with erasers with you. If you don't, we have golf pencils with no erasers, but make sure you return them and obviously don't make any mistakes. So questions... The actors have been humiliated into extras. There is a look of defeat and fright over their faces. Dale is pissed, but of course too spineless to stand up for anyone including himself. He is desperate to work as an actor, even if he has to humble himself to be called in as an extra. To the mass public, he can still call himself an actor with a bit of embellishment. JIMMY Any questions? No one? Great. So if you can all stand up and form a single file line, we can get you all registered. Thanks for showing up and remember, that WE will call YOU, not the other way around. The extras all begin to stand up to form a line for the registration. As they stand, the small desks that they are crammed into, lift up around their bodies. They awkwardly bump into one another with the desks and it looks like the bumper cars at a fair. Dale goes up to the registration desk with his head-shot, SAG card, and registration papers. He finishes the registration and hands the potted evergreen to Judith in person. He extends the plant with a close-up smile on his face. JUDITH (GRUFF) Just set it down. Dale kneels down and places the plant at her feet. He flips some of the pictures back into place to where they are facing outward and gives some of the ribbons a snug tug. He's very happy with himself for thinking of such a brilliant idea around the holidays. He has no idea that Judith is Jewish and even if he knew, it still wouldn't have crossed his mind not to give her a Christmas tree. He's the type of person that once he gets an idea in his head, it's done. Egg on face or not. Happy Dale gets up and notices that his efforts are going unnoticed. He sidesteps toward the door, checking back on his little plant the little woman and then exits. CUT TO: EXT.-NYC STREET Dale and a few of his colleagues are hanging out in front of the church, where the open call was held. They are all shooting the shit with verbal resume's flying each one of them in a state of shock from the disrespect that they witnessed. They break off into small groups and head their separate ways. Dale leaves with four other actors. INT."STARS DINER" Dale and four of his acting buddies (Jennifer, Paul, Roger, and Bryce) are standing in the doorway to "Stars Diner". A party of three have "their booth". The five actors are all regulars and have a relationship with both the clientele and the employees/owners. Each one of these actors are sitting on both the clientele/employee line. Not one of them is too far in their "acting career" to be working here at "Stars" or a place just like it. CINDY Hey guys...you're booth is occupied...I'm sorry. DALE Yeah...we see that. How ya doin' Cindy? Any idea of how much longer they'll be? CINDY They have their check. I'm just waiting for them to pay and leave. We have other booths open though. DALE No. It's okay. We'll wait. JENNIFER Dale...Let's just sit at a different table. DALE It's okay. We'll wait. BRYCE Dude. I'm hungry. Let's just sit down. DALE I'd rather wait...Roger..Phil? Roger and Paul shrug it off. They don't have an allegiance to anyone. In fact, it seems like too much pressure for them so they choose to ignore Dale's request. DALE Well..I'd rather wait for our booth. BRYCE Well, I'm sitting. You guys do what you want. Jennifer and Bryce make a bee line across the room to an empty booth that is situated across from their usual booth. Reluctantly, Roger and Paul both join them in the sit, leaving Dale standing his ground at the door. CINDY Dale..Go sit. You can always move to your booth when it opens. DALE No. I'm okay Cindy. He continues to stand in the doorway foolishly leering at the customers in his usual booth. He seems to think that somehow he can telepathically move them from his table. After one uncomfortable minute, he breaks and joins the crew at the second choice, but clearly is not able to let it go. JENNIFER We'll move over when their done Dale. BRYCE I just want to eat. Who gives a shit where we sit? DALE I do Bryce, I do. I give a shit. Is that okay with you that I give a shit. I like that booth. BRYCE The food here still sucks in that booth just as much as it sucks in this one. What's the BFD? They all flip through the volume of pages on the menu which they never use anyway. These are habitual creatures..no menu necessary. They go through the motions anyway. PAUL When's the last time somebody ordered oven roasted brook trout from this place? Do they consider the East River a brook? How can all of this shit be fresh? The livers probably been in the walk-in since Ed Koch was mayor. CINDY You guys ready to order? BRYCE Yeah. I'll have the "I'm such a Hamburger" deluxe, medium rare, and a seltzer..Thanks Cindy. CINDY Jennifer? BRYCE Get the burger Jenn, it's your safest bet and trust me, I've seen the walk- in. Don't worry about the calories. You know what I always say, "The Bryce is right". JENNIFER Yeah, you do always say that and how pitiful. I'll have the same..but, I'll have mine well done please. And a Mr. Pibb to drink. Thanks doll. BRYCE Excellent choice. Do they make Mrs. Pibb? ROGER Could I just have a salad? CINDY Just a salad? How many salads do you see on that menu? Help me out here Roger. ROGER Surprise me. I feel like being surprised today. CINDY Then look at last years tax return and see how much you claimed from acting. Surprisingly little, I'm sure. Come on Roger, just pick a damn salad, I'm too busy to be surprising you and believe me, you wouldn't like my surprise. ROGER Okay, hook me up with the "Shelly Winter" salad and to drink a cup of tea. Cindy gives him a look. ROGER Oh. I'm sorry, Earl Grey. PAUL Well you know what I want. The "Billy Holiday" blues berry pancakes. Are the berries fresh? CINDY Sure Paul. You ask me that every time and it's like a broken record. Dale, what's it going to be? DALE Hang on...I'm still looking. I'm going to go crazy today and try the "Dean Martin" liver. CINDY (SCREAMING ACROSS THE DINER) Max..Do we still have the "Dean Martin"? MAX I think so. I'll check. CINDY Anything to drink Dale? DALE I'll have a Heineken..thanks Cindy. And do you mind if we move when that booth opens? CINDY I said yes. Chill. BRYCE Dale..it's not yet noon. DALE Yeah..so.. what's noon mean. Who made up that so called rule. Are you saying that if I drink at 11:59 AM, I could have a drinking problem, but if I drink at 12:01 PM I'll be okay. I don't know about you guys, but I could use a drink after all of that humiliation. Cindy finishes writing the order, grabs up the menus and heads for the kitchen. JENNIFER Yeah, so what was up with that open call? What the hell is up her ass? DALE She's the best in the industry. Once you work with her, that's it. ROGER That's it? DALE I mean that once you get a few of her jobs on your resume.. You're set. BRYCE You're not set Dale. It's just an extra gig. It's not going to go any further than that. DALE Just an extra gig. Mr. Aboveanextragig are you? Okay..Let's all listen to the expert here. Impart us with the knowledge of your craft. Come on Terry cloth..let us learn from you. Teach us. You're such a seasoned talent. Show us the way. Please. BRYCE I'm not saying that I'm better than any of you. It's what it is and I accept that. DALE Well the fact is that it's better to swallow your pride for a few hours if it has the potential for future acting gigs. At least it's making a living as an actor and not a waiter, bartender or cabbie. PAUL How does one become that? Could you imagine working for her? BRYCE We do work for her Paulie. What were you doing at the open call? I thought that was the point. PAUL Yeah, I know, but I mean working for her as one of the power hungry slaves in her office. That must suck. We only had to deal with her for an hour or so, but all day? ROGER I'm sure she's not like that to her staff. She's the best in her field and has worked with everybody who's anybody or everybody that's somebody. What's the difference between somebody and anybody anyway? That's just probably her style. I found it to be exciting to be in her presence. She's been in the biz for years and happens to be well respected from what I hear. JENNIFER That doesn't give her the right to treat us like children and shit all over us. DALE We should consider ourselves lucky. None of us are from New York. We all moved here from Podunck USA and we all have SAG cards. That's a start. It's better than rotting away in a trailer with a stringer of kids in Normal Oklahoma. Cindy returns with an armful of plates and places them in front of her acting eaters. JENNIFER That was too fast. This has to be somebody else's order. CINDY We aim to please. DALE Are those guys getting up soon? BRYCE We're fine here Cindy. CINDY You guys need anything else? BRYCE I think were good. Dale gazes at his plate. His friends laugh at the charred chunk of discolored meat on his plate. He doesn't mind being laughed at. He's behind his choice of lunch, even if it kills him. PAUL That's liver? Doesn't even resemble liver. Who's liver? What's liver? Dale, why liver? DALE Why not? It looks fine. I think it looks good. I haven't eaten liver since I was a kid. PAUL Did you like it then? DALE Not really. PAUL Why did you order it? What point are you trying to prove by risking your life? You don't have anything to prove to us big guy. DALE No point. It just so happens that I'm a big fan of liver. That's a good name for a band...LIVER. BRYCE Yeah right. Everyone would hate them and if they did have any fans, they wouldn't be under the age of sixty. PAUL Hey, not to interrupt the flow of genius minds, but would you guys give me some input on my resume? I just had it updated and reformatted. Paul pulls out his resume attached to a head-shot. DALE Sure man, I'll take a look. Paul hands it over. DALE Paul, what's this? Dale is pointing to a picture of two men escorting a man in handcuffs down courthouse steps. It is copied onto his resume and underneath it says, "USA TODAY". PAUL That's print work. DALE Your a corrections officer Paul. That doesn't count as extra work. That's your real job. My god, that's pathetic. You can't be serious. And what's worse or better, I'm not sure, is that the criminal your holding onto is the star. You're even an extra in your real life. PAUL My agent says it's okay so it stays. Anything to beef up the resume. DALE Even lies. PAUL I'm not lying. That's me in print. DALE I'm glad you're buying. I just don't see any other takers. Everyone digs into their lunch and Dale sceptically picks up the chunk with his fork for inspection. He starts out with tiny bites, and decides to mask the flavor with mustard and ketchup. The arrival of the food seems to have quietened the others at the booth and everyone seems happy with their choice. PAUL (TO DALE) Eat up boy..or you'll go to bed hungry. No desert for you. JENNIFER That smells so foul. BRYCE It's good for you Dale. Would you like some of my burger? ROGER Why would you order that for breakfast? Or for any meal for that matter? DALE Let me eat my liver. I always wind up ordering the best thing on the menu and you guys never learn. Oh look, those guys are getting up. Let's move. BRYCE Dale..come on. We're almost done here. DALE I don't care.. I want that booth. The actors all get up with their drinks and food in hand and head for their usual booth. The busboy is still removing plates from the table and wiping it down. The busboy takes his time as the gang of five hover over him. They take their seats to a wet table top. BRYCE Happy Dale Singer? We have a moist table and we're almost finished with our lunch. DALE(EATING) I am. For some odd reason, the food does taste better from this booth. Cindy strolls by. CINDY You got your booth. Good. DALE You bet! BRYCE Just in time for the check I might add. CINDY You guys need anything else? My shift is almost over and I've got an audition downtown I need to get to. BRYCE Just the check dear. Good Luck Cindy. Everyone at the table, and Cindy, gasps and stops what they're doing and stares at Bryce in disbelief. Bryce has no idea what's going on or what he said. Cindy drops the check. BRYCE What? What? Staring continues for a few beats as Bryce searches faces for some clue. BRYCE Oh. I'm sorry Cindy. Break-a-leg! CINDY Thanks Bryce. See you guys later. Bryce...are you working today? BRYCE I'm not scheduled. CINDY You are now. Peter quit this morning and I think they were going to call you in. You better get the hell out of here before they see you. Bryce stands without finishing his lunch, throws money on the table at the same moment his cell rings. He mistakenly answers it, hoping it will be his agent. BRYCE Bryce Aldin. No, I'm sorry I can't. I'm out in New Jersey baby-sitting my sisters kids. Okay....well give me a call back if you can't find anyone. He looks over and sees his boss on the phone with him. His boss is staring right at him. His boss heard the cell phone ring. The boss motions for Bryce to come over. Bryce snaps shut his cell, gets up and walks toward his boss. His boss throws an apron at him which lands on his head. DALE SHIT! JENNIFER What? Dale is fumbling through his pockets and bag. He stands up and goes and looks in the seat of the original booth. He comes back and crams his hand into the seat cushion. DALE SHIT SHIT SHIT! That little twerp from the open call has my cell phone in his ass pocket. Somebody let me use their cell. ROGER I'm almost out of minutes for the month. Sorry. DALE Come on. I need a phone. Jennifer reluctantly hands over her cell. JENNIFER Don't break it. And I'm low on minutes too, so make it snappy. Jennifer starts to show Dale how to use her phone. DALE I know how to use a cell phone Jenn. Thank you. Dale dials and waits. CUT TO: The ass pocket of Jimmy Sands from ORDINARY CASTING. A cell phone is ringing in the pocket. His chubby hand reaches around for it. He opens the cell and raises it to his head. He's completely confused. This is not his cell. He always keeps his in a pocket of his work bag. JIMMY (ANSWERING CELL) Ordinary Casting. DALE That's my cell phone. Who's this? JIMMY You called me. Who's this? DALE It's Dale and you're on my cell phone. JIMMY Dale who? DALE Singer. JIMMY Who's Singer? DALE I am. JIMMY So your a singer. Why are you calling me? DALE I'm Dale Singer and the cell phone in your hand is mine. JIMMY Then why is in my ass pocket? DALE You ripped it from me today at the open call and forgot to return it to me. JIMMY I didn't forget anything pal. DALE Okay, you win. I forgot to pick it from you before I left the open call. JIMMY You were at the open call today? DALE Yes. You took my phone. JIMMY Didn't we tell you not to call us and that we would call you? DALE I didn't call your office. I need my phone. Where are you? JIMMY I'm at the office, but we also told you absolutely no office visits. DALE Can you leave it with the doorman or maybe make an exception. JIMMY I'm busy now. Come by the office in about an hour. DALE Thanks. I appreciate it. Sorry to bother you. JIMMY Yeah. Jimmy snaps the phone shut and shoves it back into his ass and returns to his business. He's in the middle of the Sunday Times crossword puzzle. He's only filled in two answers. CUT TO: INT. ORDINARY CASTING OFFICE Jimmy is still stuck on his crossword and the office buzzer rings. He sends one of his other assistants to open the door. A young girl named Gretchen goes to the door and opens wide. Dale is standing on the other side. Dale can see Jimmy sitting at a desk working on something and in the distance he sees the evil little woman hunched over working on something in the other room. GRETCHEN Who are you and what are you doing at this office? DALE I'm Dale Singer. You have my cell phone. GRETCHEN Really, I have your cell phone. DALE Jimmy does. GRETCHEN Jimmy, this guy says that you stole his cell phone DALE No no. Not stole, he just.. Jimmy gets up off his fat ass and approaches the door. Jimmy takes over the door and Gretchen returns to her post. JIMMY Hey, are you the guy that called the office earlier? DALE No I never called the office, I called my cell. JIMMY We have very strict rules about calling the office. If everyone in our files called our office, we wouldn't be able to do our jobs, understand. DALE Yes I do, but... JIMMY No buts period. There are no exceptions to our rules. I believe we made that extremely clear. No calls unless we call you and no drop by's. DALE (DEFEATED/SARCASTIC) Got it. Could I grab my cell. JIMMY Hang on, I'm in the middle of something and then I'll grab it. Jimmy props open the door and goes back to his desk and rummages through his desk looking for the mobile. Dale looks through the room and spots Judith. All he can see is her hunched over something, and little pieces of paper fluttering to the ground. Judith picks up all of these little papers and tosses them in the garbage. Jimmy returns to the door. JIMMY I can't find it. What's it look like? DALE It's a cell phone. It's probably the one that doesn't look like yours. JIMMY Who makes it wiseguy? DALE I think it's in your back pocket. Jimmy reaches to his ass and pulls out a cell phone. DALE That's it. JIMMY I thought that was my wallet. DALE Guess not. JUDITH Jimmy, who's at the door? JIMMY No one Ms. Silver DALE Thanks. JUDITH (SCREAMING) No actors should be at our office for any reason whatsoever. Is that understood Mr. Jimmy? JIMMY (TO DALE) See what I mean. This kind of shit gets me heat. Judith pushes her way past Jimmy and Dale with Dale's potted evergreen, with his mini head-shots snipped. She walks over to the doorman across from her office and hands it to him. Dale watches in complete awe. How could she not recognize him. JUDITH Have a nice Christmas Al. Judith, in her own world, turns back to the office and grabs Jimmy and slams the door on Dale. JUDITH (O.C.) Jimmy! Get your ass in here. The phone is ringing. Jimmy opens the door a crack. JIMMY By the way, someone called your cell. Oh, and remember again, never stop by the office unless we ask you to come by and never call the office unless we call you first. Got it. DALE I got it the first time. Do you know who called? Who was it that called? JIMMY No idea. DALE Male or female? JIMMY Don't know. I'm busy here. Yet, another door is slammed in Dale's face and he turns to leave, calling everyone he knows who might have called. INT.- DALE AND SADIE'S NYC STUDIO APARTMENT-BATHROOM Dale is sitting on the toilet in his robe, with a bad ass case of diarrhea. His head is in his hands, and the wastepaper basket is between his legs. A "Variety" magazine is propped up on the basket for reading material. Dale reaches over, ass half off the toilet to slam the door on the camera. From beyond the door we hear sounds of sickness (heaving and diarrhea). DALE (SHOUTING) Fucking Liver! Dale exits the bathroom pale and drained as he heads for the couch. He grabs his remote and plays a scene study tape on his VCR. He sits on the couch in pain staring through the television, not able to concentrate on much of anything. The sound of dogs barking outside lures him to his window. He looks out and sees the mailman is approaching his building. Mail is the highlight of many of his days. He's expecting something or another at any given day to launch him out of his pathetic existence. The mailman is Dale's adult Santa. He darts out of his apartment and flies down the stairwell. His door slams shut behind him. MAILMAN Nothing for you today Mr. Brando. How you doin'? You look like hell, Dale. It's almost 3 o'clock..did you just get up? DALE I know. Really, I can't believe it hasn't come yet? It was supposed to arrive last week. MAILMAN We'll it's the season and mail gets mighty backed up fella. Let's see...not really..oh..looks like there's something else for you. Looks like a returned parcel from London. Looks as though there was a lack of postage, and a postcard of some sort. DALE God damn it. That's my application to RADA which is due by the end of this week. Now I'm going to have to overnight it. Thanks Bern. Oh..Merry Christmas. MAILMAN I'm Jewish, but you too. See you tomorrow Olivier. Dale wanders back upstairs unsealing the padded envelope. He pulls out two of his head-shots, the application for the Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts, and his report on "What is Acting?". He puts all of the material back into the envelope and takes a look at the postcard as he meanders back to his hole of an apartment. The postcard turns out to be an invite to his 20th High School Reunion planned for this summer. He sits down at the top of his stairs, staring at the invitation which becomes a blur. He hears the voices in his head as we cut to a dream state. H.S. PRINCIPLE "and the Oscar goes to....i can't get this damn thing open. The high school principle tears it open and rips the card in half. He has to match up the first and last name by holding each half up to his eyes. H.S. PRINCIPLE (CONT'D) Oh..here we go....Dale Singer In this fantasy, he's back in High School as a 38 year old man around all of the 18 year old kids he graduated with. He is strolling down the aisle with the same padded envelope in his hand, and starts to head up to the stage of the school gymnasium. The principle steps aside to make room for Dale with the whole graduating class and faculty clapping and praising him. He begins to deliver his speech on his training at RADA, and how that education played such a role in molding him into the fine actor you see before you. DALE First, I'd like to thank my mother who pushed me to become an actor and gave me way too much confidence. Without her praises, I would be on a different path. This is for all of those people that said that "I was great" even when I knew that deep down I didn't have the talent of a flea, and even some of those make it far enough to the circus. The rumbling of Dales stomach snap him back into reality. He picks up the pace toward his door with a few moments to spare before what he feels will be another barf explosion. He reaches for the doorknob, and is panicked by the fact that he's locked himself out. He feverishly scours the area for a container to barf in and finds nothing except the padded envelope in his hand. He reopens the application and throws up on his head shots and application materials. While throwing up, he hears his phone ringing and ringing. The answering machine picks up and his agent, Bonnie, leaves a message. BONNIE Dale, listen...it's Bonnie. You need to keep your cell phone on and with you at all times. I keep getting the wrong person. Did you get a new number? I have no way of getting in touch with you. You have an audition tomorrow. Call me at my office for the details. I don't like these answering machines and you know this. You have a cell phone....use it. Dale finishes his sickness and leans the "mail" on his door. He runs down to the supers apartment and raps on the door. An Asian girl and boy answer the door. They start laughing at him. DALE Hey, have some respect for your elders. When I was your age... Where's your dad? Where's Mr. Wang? Your dad? Where is he? The Asian kids call over some of their friends to join in on the laugh. DALE Hey. This isn't funny. I'm serious, now where is you father. BOY Papa Wang not here? DALE Yes. Papa, papa Wang! Where is he. The kids point outside to the front of the building. DALE Outside? He's outside. That's good, outside. Thank you, and stop laughing or I'll tell your dad. Dale is on the ground floor and goes to look for Mr. Wang outside. He steps out on the stoop with the door slamming shut behind. DALE (CALLING FROM THE STOOP) Mr. Wang? Mr. Wang... Mr. Wang....Mr. Wang! He runs around the building calling his name. He spends the last of his energy on searching for Wang. Exhausted and nauseous, he goes back to the door and realizes he's locked himself outside. Defeated and worn slick, he sits on the stoop and waits. The poison decides to rear it's ugly head again and Dale shoots up and grabs a garbage can, lifts the lid and pukes in the buildings garbage pail. The super rounds the corner and sees a homeless man in a robe, digging through his garbage. SUPER Hey. What the hell doing? Put down can now. I serious, get the hell outta here. I kick you can. Dale turns toward the super with his head still in the can. SUPER Put can down. Dale removes the can from his head. He's got liquid and coffee grounds on his face. SUPER Mr. Singer. What hell you doing? You crazy? You make a mess. DALE Mr. Wang, thank god. I'm locked out of the building and my apartment. I've got some serious food poisoning. The mess. I'll clean it up when I return. I promise. I'm just so sick. I need to rest. Do you mind letting me in. My agent called me this afternoon. I've got to get ready for an upcoming audition today or tomorrow, I'm not sure. The super lets him in and walks upstairs to Dales apartment. Dale struggles behind. SUPER I smell? DALE I have an audition this week. This could be real good Mr. Wang. This might be the one. SUPER It stinks here? Where comes that smell? It's smells bad here. The super pulls out his keys, and unlocks Dales door. He pushes the door open, and the padded envelope spills onto Dales comedy/tragedy doormat. Mr. Wang shoots Dale a disgusted look, shakes his head, and goes back to his business. DALE Mr. Wang, thank you so much. I owe you. I'll bring you some egg-rolls, origami or something for your family. Wish me luck on the audition. SUPER Origami Leg rolls. Good luck. Not break legs crazy. CUT TO: INT.-DALES NYC STUDIO APARTMENT-EARLY SPRING Dale is working on his VCR. His acting tape has run to the end and snapped. He struggles to remove the tape and finally yanks it out. The tape is a wad of scrap. He crosses to his desk and attempts surgery on the tape with scotch tape and using his fingers to wind it back into the housing. While working on the tape, he calls his agent, Bonnie, on speaker phone. CARLA Bonnie Bloom Agency. DALE Hey Carla, may I speak with Bonnie please? CARLA Whose calling? DALE It's Dale. (pause) Dale Singer? CARLA Hold please. Dale is still fixated on fixing the tape. Sadie enters the apartment from a hard day at the office. BONNIE Where the hell have you been? I've been calling your cell. Why don't you keep that thing with you? DALE I know, I know. I lost my cell phone. Did anyone pick up because I called it once and someone answered but I don't speak Spanish. BONNIE (INTERRUPTS) What? Do you have me on speaker phone? Get me off. I can't hear a word you say when you have me on like that. Dale picks up the receiver. DALE Bonnie, go easy. Today hasn't been a walk in the park for me, so please if you don't mind. BONNIE Is Dale having a bad day? You're an actor. How many good days do you expect? Wise up and get tough. You have an audition the day after tomorrow, which is Wednesday, for a television pilot. I'll give you back to Carla and she'll give you the details. Are you going to be able to make this? DALE Yeah, Yeah, no problem. That's cool. My day just turned around. I'll be there. BONNIE You've got to get yourself another cell immediately. Okay, now good luck. DALE Wait, Bonnie. Please, it's break-a-leg. Please don't wish me luck. It's bad luck to wish me luck. I appreciate you thinking of me though, and don't forget, I've got my under five on Law and Order tonight. BONNIE (SARCASTIC) Yes Dale. We've all got our VCR's programmed and we're having a big party at my loft. Here's Carla. Dale is talking to Carla and writing down all of the audition info. Sadie is in the kitchen preparing dinner. CARLA Dale? Dale, are you there? DALE Hey Carla. CARLA Am I on speaker phone? Take me off now before I give you the info. That's better. Can you hear me? DALE Yes I can. Uh huh. Right. 163 West...okay. Um, what's that between? It's okay, I'll find it. Right, okay at 2:30. 2:30 right. That's PM. I know, I was just making sure. That's great, I'll be there. Thanks Carla. Oh, do I need to bring my Sag card? Okay, great. We'll speak to you later. Got it. No, no, I'll be there. I'm okay. Yeah, alright. Wish me luck. CARLA Good Luck,(under her breath)freak. DALE No no no no no...it's break-a-leg. CARLA Whatever, I've gotta go. Good luck. Dale hangs up the phone and tosses the tape into the garbage. He calls his therapist, Joan, on speaker. JOAN Hello, Joan Tanner DALE Joan, it's Dale Singer. JOAN Dale, what's up? DALE I need to see you today if that's possible. JOAN Okay, first take me off of your speaker phone. Let's see. Not today. Maybe tomorrow. Dale picks up the receiver. DALE So you can see me tomorrow? JOAN I've got a 6:30 open. DALE That's great. See you then. Dale strolls to the kitchen and puts his hands around Sadie's waist as she is cutting up vegetables. His kisses on her neck are not well received. She gets agitated and tries to squirm from his grip. SADIE Dale, I'm trying to make dinner. DALE I know. What can I do to help? SADIE Leave me alone. DALE I'm just so excited. You know who that was on the phone. That was Bonnie my agent, and I, Dale Singer have an audition for a pilot this Wednesday. I'm going to nail it. Also, I'm in tonight's episode of Law and Order, which starts in about five minutes. I've got the VCR programmed and I'm ready to roll with the tape. SADIE That's great Dale. You go in the living room and watch your show and I'll get dinner ready. DALE I want you to watch it with me. SADIE Dale, we live in a studio. I'm not that far away. Just call me when your on. DALE (GIVES HER A PECK ON THE CHEEK) Okay honey, but you've got to come in when I tell you. Dale goes to the couch and triple checks the channel settings and the VCR. He's got his remote controls within arms reach and everything he needs for the next hour of programming. The program begins and he turns up the volume to the Max. SADIE Dale turn that shit down. DALE Honey, it's on. SADIE Really? Dale is sitting on the couch with his eyes glued to the set. He sit watching and starts to recognize his scene. DALE Sadie, were almost there. Come on you're going to miss it. SADIE I'm coming, hang on. DALE No, come in now. It could be any second now. Hurry. SADIE I've just got to wash the chicken off my hands. DALE No time. Put down the chicken and get in here. Sadie wipes her hands on her apron and grabs a towel. DALE (CONT'D) Here I am, here I am. Come on where are you. SADIE I'm coming. Jesus. Sadie enters the living room standing in front of the television. Dale is slumped in the couch with disappointment. SADIE Where are you? Dale, I don't see you. Which one are you? DALE You missed it. That was it. SADIE I thought..I'm sorry. I just thought. You got it on tape right? DALE Yeah, do you want me to rewind it and play it for you? JUDY Yes I do. Dale uses the remote to rewind and the tape shoots out of the VCR opening in a mangled heap. DALE (SHOUTING IN FRUSTRATION) FUCK! FUCK! FUCK ME! CUT TO: INT.JOANS OFFICE-FOLLOWING DAY Dale and Sadie are sitting across from his therapist in a neat, well-lit room. Joan has an eclectic collection of art and sculpture placed throughout the studio apartment that she uses as her office. She's definitely in her late fifties but you couldn't tell by looking at her. She's in great shape and Dale doesn't have a hard time imagining her in her youth. Dale feels as though he has a great relationship with Joan. For Joan, it's business as usual, and she's just doing what she likes to do best; her job. Dale is comforted by this woman and as far as Dale is concerned, she's the only person that really understands him. Dale is able to reveal a side of himself that he thinks he hides from everyone else. JOAN So what's going on Dale? Why the need for an unscheduled appointment? Sadie, did you need to come today? SADIE I'm not sure why were here to be honest. DALE I'm good. I've been having too many "Dale days". JOAN Why does that sound like a bad thing? DALE I'm not sure. I'm so frustrated and filled with anxiety. But sometimes I have good Dale days. JOAN Most people, if they named a day for themselves, it would be a positive event where they had won the day. DALE I don't feel as though I'm winning anything. I feel like I have a horseshoe up my ass backwards. Most people huh? So maybe I'm not having a "Dale day". I guess I'm having a Dale of a day. I don't understand. I feel out of sync. I'm getting no breaks. I'm a good guy. I treat people with respect. What does it take? What am I doing? I'm thirty-seven years old. What the hell am I doing? Why can't I reach my goals. I'm so scattered. I have an audition tomorrow for a TV pilot, and I'm not as excited as I should be. Maybe it's just bad timing because I feel like shit. I got food poisoning earlier this week and I'm feeling very weak. JOAN How excited should you be? DALE You know..very. JOAN Why should you be very excited? DALE Because, this is what I want. This is my dream. This is what I've been waiting for. This is what I've trained for. This is what I've always wanted to do since I was a child. SADIE Dale, somebody, like your acting teacher in high school or some remote relative, blew smoke up your ass at an early age and you went with it, and still continue ride this with little result. It's time you/we moved on and faced the reality of our lives. DALE What's that supposed to mean. What's this smoke up my ass thing? What the hell does that mean anyway. What is the advantage of having smoke blown in your ass. I can think of so many other things I'd rather have blown up my ass. I'd rather have this horseshoe up my ass straightened out. SADIE (SARCASTICALLY) Your missing the point darling. JOAN Maybe Sadie is right Dale. You're not a child anymore. Maybe that was your inner child's dream and you feel obligated to fulfill this dream. If you don't do this, will you feel defeated? DALE Don't start taking her side. It's what I was meant to do. It's what I'm supposed to do. It's what I have to do now. I've held onto this for so long and it's too late in life for me to turn back now. SADIE I think it's time to let go of these childish dreams and figure out what the fuck you want to do with your life because I'm getting fed up with this acting shit. DALE What's with the negativity Sadie? You almost saw me on TV last night. I'm working. Do I have to be a star to fit into your life. SADIE No. That's what I'm trying to smack through your head. I don't think you'll ever be a star and I think it's time that you had better give up on this star shit. DALE You'll see. One day honey, I'll prove you wrong. SADIE Why do you feel the need to prove anything to me. You should be doing things for yourself. I'm going to shut up now. I'm not the therapist in this room. DALE Good idea. JOAN Maybe, Dale, you don't need to do a complete turn, but just a mild adjustment. DALE English. JOAN It's very possible that you have the answer. Maybe not right in front of you, but somewhere within reach. DALE I get close and then that God awful rejection. That rejection. I just can't get used to it. I take it so personal. Why should I have to? I feel like all these past years of effort have been wasted time. JOAN Time is never wasted as long as you're still breathing. This is what life is. This is just a portion of the journey. You, yourself are in the midst of a journey, just as I am. We're the ones that instigate the rules of society. We're the ones who put ourselves in a box. No one ever told you that you had to do anything with your life. You made that choice. Just remember that you always have choices. DALE Choices...Yeah. Subpar life or instantaneous death. JOAN That's only two. You can do better than that. DALE I know. It just shouldn't be this hard. JOAN Says who. DALE Says me. I've done everything I know to do to make it in this ball busting business. Maybe I'm in the wrong line of work. I'm at the end of my twine. I feel so scattered. On one hand, I'm so energized by the chaos and excitement that I get from being in it and around it all. On the other hand, sometimes foot, I can't stand this charade. I get so excited to get work, and then when I get there, I'm treated like a child by kids younger than me. I'm torn. More like ripped to shreds. Basically, I'm a masochist. I love taking on work that demeans my character. I'm like the whipping boy and I have to pretend to like it. Some days, I'm all about doing extra work, and other day's, I'm above it and putting it down. My mood fluctuates and I've become a real pain in the ass to my friends and co-workers. JOAN This is your journey Dale. Enjoy the ride. Loosen up and enjoy the ride. Don't put so much pressure on yourself. You'll be able to get more focused if you stop focusing on just one thing. Pull yourself back and widen your view. See what's out there. You have the answer and you had better figure it out pretty soon or it looks like Sadie may be out of the picture. DALE I have the answer? Since I'm paying you, could you tell me. JOAN I said YOU have the answer. DALE Are you sure? I don't feel like I have any answers. Dale quiets for a few moments and spaces out. He shrugs it off and gets back to the session. DALE It's alright. Everything is okay. I'll be alright. I'm lucky, right? I've got an audition tomorrow. That's great. I'm happy. I feel good. I feel great. Damn it, I feel Lucky to be alive. I feel alive. Quit being so sensitive. Pull up your bootstraps and ride that bitch. This is good Joan. This is real good shit, right Sadie? It's possible that it could have just been the liver? SADIE (ROLLING HER EYES) What are you talking about, liver? Dale and Sadie get up to leave and is half way out the door to the office. JOAN Hey Dale...Good Luck with your audition tomorrow. Good bye Sadie. DALE Break a leg Joan. It's break a leg. Thanks Joan, you too. Sadie just waves after having thrown in the towel. Dale realizes what he's said in response to Joan's encouraging remark and smacks his forehead and shakes his head. CUT TO: INT.HALLWAY OF THERAPIST SADIE Dale, this isn't working. DALE Sadie, I just need some more time. SADIE It's not time you need, it's direction. DALE Okay, direction and time, but I need some time to find my direction. SADIE I don't have the time. DALE Sadie. SADIE I can't wait anymore. I don't have it in me to wait for you to find your direction. You've been at this for way too long and I've been as patient as a saint. DALE Yes you have been, but I need some support here. SADIE Dale, support. That's all I've been doing for the past four years and it's gotten us/you here. And where the hell is that? I'm sorry Dale. I need more. You have to do this on your own without me. I've got another place to live. I'll be out by the weekend. I love you, but I can't stand to watch your self esteem drop to new unbearable levels. It makes me feel like a fool, and it should make you feel like a fool. I can't be responsible for your feelings and I'm finding myself taking on your shame. I need some time. I love you. DALE Sadie? SADIE Dale? Sadie walks down the stairwell and leaves Dale standing in front of his therapists door. Dale turns to head down the stairs after her and stops. He turns back around and goes to Joan's door. He approaches the door and knocks. CUT TO: INT.-CASTING STUDIO Close up on Dale's day-planner which is turned to April 13th. The words in the box read, "Audition @ 11 w/ Sam Hirsch/TV Pilot". We pan out to see Dale waiting in the reception area running his lines with his scene partner. Dale and Kiersten,an actress auditioning for a separate role, are being put on tape in front of Samantha Hirsch (female casting director), Lia Godfrey(producer) and Tommy Shiner (director). Tommy is a thirty something, bald man by choice. The room has a table on one side and a couple of chairs on the other. There are tape marks on the floor. Tommy and Liz are sitting at the table across from the actors marks. Samantha walks out to the waiting area, filled with competitive actors/actresses, and calls in Dale Singer and Lyla Blankenship. Lyla Blankenship and Dull Singer. DALE Dale. SAMANTHA (APOLOGETIC) Oh. That looks like an "u" to me. DALE (CONFIDENT) No, it's an a. See you can see the little line coming down. SAMANTHA Well great. Right this way. Did you both get a chance to read your sides. They both answer "yes", as Samantha opens the studio door and the three enter the room. Samantha makes the introductions between actors and industry people. SAMANTHA Why don't you both stand over on your marks. This is Lyla Blankenship and Dale Singer. And this is our director, Tommy Shiner and Lia Rosenblatt. TOMMY (TO DALE) Do you sing? DALE Excuse me sir? TOMMY Your last name is Singer, do you sing? DALE Yes I sing and I sew. Do you shine? TOMMY Are you referring to my bald head? DALE What head? You're not bald, you just don't have any hair. I meant it as a compliment like shining, not Mr. Clean. TOMMY Can we move on. Tommy's over him already and Lyla snickers at Dale's foot shoved down his throat. SAMANTHA Okay..let's get going here. I'm going to start running video and when I point to you, please slate your name and after the scene, I'll point again for a tail slate. Okay..and ready. CUT TO: THE SCENE IS OVER AND DALE AND LYLA ARE BOTH SITTING IN CHAIRS FACING THE THREE IN CHARGE. THEY ARE TAKING NOTES AND MUMBLING TO ONE ANOTHER. SAMANTHA Good work. Thank you both for coming in. The two actor get up to leave the studio SAMANTHA Thank you Lyla...Dale go take a seat back where you were. Sam shuts the door and Dale sits back down in front of the table. LIA Yes, we'd like to have you come in again but we need to make sure your clear for the shoot dates. DALE Sure,okay. LIA We're looking at Monday through Wednesday June 21st through the 23rd. Dale opens his day planner and flips to the dates in question. His pages on all three dates are completely blank. DALE I do have a conflict on that Monday and possibly Tuesday as well, so... LIA Alright then, thanks for coming in. DALE Wait, wait, wait. I'll make a few calls to square this up so that I can be available. I'm available. I'm sure it won't be a problem. Yeah, it's not going to interfere. I'll just switch some things around. No problem, I'm available LIA Are you sure? DALE Most definitely. LIA Great. We'll let you know. DALE Okay. That sounds wonderful. I'll be waiting to hear from you. Thank you all so much. Dale exits the studio, checks his watch, and gathers his portfolio. He's made it. He has enough time to get across town for a job on a TV series. It's extra work, but it's work and it doesn't seem as bad today with a legitimate audition (which went really well) already under his belt. He has some hope and not even extra work can't take that away from him. CUT TO: EXT.-BASEMENT OF A CHURCH/EXTRAS HOLDING AREA Close up of Dale's day-planner which is flipped to May 7th. In the box reads,"Extra Work am Call". Pan out to watch Dale follow the yellow arrows to holding area and proudly enter the room. The room is filled with women and men of all ages sitting around in all corners and tables of the room. Some are sitting in groups spatting out verbal resume's, while others are on cell phones or reading books, trades or sides. When Dale enters, the room is peppered with "hey Dale's" from his usual suspects. Dale picks up a "Hello, my name is .... and fills in his name and applies the sticker to his shirt. Everyone in the room has these stickers on their person. It becomes obvious that not only Dale has been doing this "extra thing" for quite some time. We get a sense of a community of extras that have known one another for years and decades for others. DALE AA meetings and Extra's holding areas. Where would they put everyone if church's didn't have basements? The better question is why don't church's use their basements? ROGER Oh Dale, I'm glad you're here. Maybe you can solve our debate over "Cats". I saw "Cats" a couple of months ago for the first time and we were arguing about when it first opened. I said it's been the longest running show on Broadway and I know that you've seen it. DALE Roger, it's been so long ago that I can't even remember. It was called "Kittens" when I saw it. That's how long it's been, and who gives a shit about a bunch of people dressed up like felines. That's not acting, that's playacting. It's cheating. The costumes are the draw, not the performance of the actors. They might as well be giving out free chicken wings in a chicken suit in front of the Winter Garden Theater. So are we all ready for another day of filling in the blanks? JENNIFER Yeah, I need help with this crossword puzzle. ROGER Did it really start out as "Kittens"? Fill in what blanks? DALE The blanks on set. We fill space. We are what makes it look real. Without us, it would just be a few people talking about whatever appearing to live in a vacuum. It's kind of like, without the public, stars wouldn't be stars. The common people create the fame. It's not the other way around. Without the ordinary people, we would all be ordinary. When I say we, I mean us actors. JENNIFER You just came from an audition. DALE Which went very, very well indeed. JENNIFER You're so predictable. You could never be a criminal or even play one on TV. ROGER I don't look at it that way, filling in the blanks. It's so damn negative. DALE Oh Jerry, give me a break. How else do you see it. Are we acting? ROGER I am, and you just called yourself an actor Mr. Al Seimers. DALE Today you are acting? That's what you're saying. Does anyone have a dictionary? Let's look up acting. What is acting Roger? Being instructed on every move you make when you hit the set? Being cued for every move you make? Cut through form here to there. Hold this umbrella. Use a normal stride. And most important, DO NOT look at the camera. The term "Cattle Call" wasn't coined in Montana. We're cattle dude. JENNIFER (OFF CAMERA) I'm not a cow Dale. DALE Yes you are and so am I. I don't give a shit, but at least let's face the reality that we're in. We are livestock for fuck's sake. ROGER Dale, if today you want to be a cow, then go for it. But I was told we we're supposed to be Wall Street types today, and that's what I am. DALE Yes, but your not acting like a Wall Street type. You just have clothes that hang on you to give the appearance of that type. Your a hanger Roger. ROGER I thought we were cattle. DALE No, were hanger steaks. JENNIFER It's making a living in the biz. DALE Barely, and for who? It's a constant humiliation which takes us further from our dream. We might just as well be bartending or working in an office somewhere. Listen, all I'm saying is that it's not what I had in mind for myself when I first moved to New York. JENNIFER Well, Downer Dale. I happen to think that extras are the most important part of the scene. DALE Oh really. You feel important. Important people are not crammed in a room together like a chicken coop. They might as well cut off our beaks, because we don't say anything anyway. We are the ones to eat last on the set. Last Jennifer. Even after PA's. We're lower than PA's. These twenty-something slackers that just moved to NY from small town Texas have it better than us New Yorkers. ROGER You're not a New Yorker Dale. DALE I've been here over the ten year mark and have spent a majority of my adulthood in this city. By amnesty, that makes all of us New Yorkers. Be proud of that. Where was I. Oh yeah. I was telling Jennifer how it is. JENNIFER Yeah. Thanks Dale. I'm glad I have you as my guide. DALE Thank you Jenn. You should be. Okay, I was talking about...what was I saying? JENNIFER Nothing. DALE No, not true. I had a point. JENNIFER The point is Dale, if your not happy with what your doing, then YOU change it. Your opinions do not reflect the views of everyone in this room. If your so damn unhappy and mistreated, then what the fuck are you doing in this church basement on a Friday morning. You hate church! The reason I see us as important is; if we didn't exist, us extras, what would it be like to watch anything on film or television? It would look flat. The story wouldn't translate without other people around the main characters. Yes, maybe we do fill in the blanks, but if we didn't, the scene would be blank. We bring a dimension of reality to a scene. You've got to have a background of people. If we don't, we don't believe. You are what you believe, not what other people believe. Who you are comes from within and not the other way around. You can't rely on outside validation. DALE Outside validation,huh? Isn't that the point of this business? Isn't that why we all want to be actors? By the way Jenn, I have a therapist, but I'll call you if things change. ROGER We are actors. DALE (OVERLY DRAMATIC) No Roger. Your wrong. Right this moment, we are extras. Remember the first words out of Judith Silver's mouth? Do ya? "YOU ARE NOT ACTORS". If you respect the woman, than you have to respect her words. I want more, I tell you. Damn it.. To me or not to me, I want more. The room burst into laughter. Some are laughing with but most are laughing at Dale. While the extras are horse playing, one of the twenty-something PA's enters the room. He kills the mood, and all of the extras gather around. Roger walks over to Dale ROGER Dale, would you like to get some lunch or dinner some time this week? It's on me. DALE Sure, sounds good. Call me and let me know. P.A. (AUTHORITATIVE) What are you guys up to? Stop fucking around. We're paying you to...whatever, we're not paying you to fuck off. Now listen. This shoot is going late so we broke for dinner about an hour ago, so the cast and crew have already eaten. I need you to go up in groups of ten every five minutes. EXTRA Do you have any idea how late the shoot is going to go? P.A. No. Don't ask me again. EXTRA What's for dinner? P.A. Leftovers. Is this your first "extra gig"? You should know by now, that you guys are at the low end of the totem pole. You get to eat whatever is left. (he laughs) (shouting/self-important) Listen up everyone. My job isn't to answer any of your questions, so just listen to me and follow my direction. I've got a full plate today, not to mention the full plate of gourmet food I just ate. See, you guys don't understand how important my role is on the set, and you waste my time with your petty questions. Let's quit acting like children and start trying to act more adult-like. The PA yanks out a yellow rope with loops every so often. Now I need you to form a single file line and each of you put your right hand in a loop in the rope. I'll let you know when and where you can go. If anyone needs anything, raise your hand first before you just unleash yourself and leave the line. Okay, no questions, good. Let's go. The extras form a line and rope off their own hands in yellow rope like preschoolers on a field trip. CUT TO: EXT.-CRAFT SERVICE TABLE The extras start lining up in front of the table to get the rest of the scraps left behind by the cast and crew. The pickins are slim and the food is cold. Dale and his friends look over to the grip truck and some of the union guys are still eating. One of the union guys has his dog tied to the grip truck. The dog is eating slices of prime rib on a paper plate. Dale and his friends look around for the prime beef and spot a chafing pan with crumbles of meat which once held the prime rib. The craft service man is standing behind the table getting things cleared up. He's ready to go and is yanking empty containers to clean up. DALE Do you have anymore of the prime beef? CRAFT SERVICE Isn't there anymore in there? (he checks the pan) Hmm...I guess not. I guess the dog got the last of it. DALE (TO HIMSELF) Fucking union guys. CRAFT SERVICE No. It was their dog. DALE I know. I saw. That's how I knew that you had prime beef. CRAFT SERVICE What's up your ass dude? DALE Cold food and no prime beef for starts. CRAFT SERVICE Not my problem. Deal(leans over to read his name tag) Dale. (laughs to himself) Deal Dale. (laughs again) DALE (JOINING IN WITH A FAKE CONDESCENDING LAUGH) Deal Dale? That's real funny. Did you ever stop to think that maybe catering isn't your bag. How hard is it to prepare enough food for a set. I cater in between these jobs and seem to be able to deal. It's mindless work. A fucking monkey can do it. From the hair coming out from the back of your shirt, it looks like you might be primate. The primate ran out of prime beef. I think that's better than deal Dale. It's simple fucking math. Maybe show business is more your line of work. You seem to have a real knack for comedy. Right after the word comedy comes from Dale's mouth, the caterers fist lands right in his nose. Dale wobbles, grabs the table for support and drops to the ground, yanking the remainder of the food for the extras with him. He's lying on the ground with the table on top of him, unconscious, nose bleeding and pasta salad and various other foods scattered about. His extra colleagues stand above him, arms crossed, with disgust and hunger in their eyes. The leftovers they've been waiting for are covering Dale. Dales cell phone rings. He reaches for it in his pocket and puts it to his head, still laying out on the ground covered in food. CARLA Dale? DALE Dale Singer. CARLA I know, Dale. DALE Who's calling? CARLA Stop it, it's Carla. DALE Oh, what's up? CARLA I was calling about Samantha Hirsch. DALE Yes? Samantha Hirsch, the casting director? Did I get the pilot? I auditioned for her a few weeks back. CARLA I know this. Slow down Dale. DALE This is great. I didn't expect to hear back so soon. CARLA Dale. Easy. DALE Finally. This is good. I feel good. Carla, sorry if I've been a pain in the ass, it's just that... CARLA Dale, listen to me. Shut up for one second. DALE Okay. It's just, well exciting. This could be it. This is part of my journey. When does she want to see me. CARLA Tonight. Ms. Hirsch, the casting director that you auditioned for, is having a party this evening. DALE Yeah? I'm listening. CARLA Well, she called our office and remembered you from the audition and has asked me to see if you were available tonight. DALE (LIT UP) Let me check my book. CARLA Dale, I know your free and you need the money. DALE (CHECKING HIS BLANK DATES) Uhm...let's see Carla, it does look as though I'm free tonight. Is it dressy or casual. Where's her pad? If it's downtown, maybe I should just go hip. I do have a tux, but It's a little ratty. I call it my catering outfit. (the word money just registers) Did you say money? That's ridiculous. She doesn't need to pay me to come to her party. I'm flattered, but more than elated to be there. CARLA That tux you have will be fine. I know it's not ideal, but her caterer had a waiter cancel last minute and he can't find anyone, so Samantha called to ask me to call you to see if you'd be available? Silence on the phone CARLA Dale? DALE I'm here, just stunned. I'm checking my book, hold on. It does look like I have something going on tonight. I'm sorry Carla, I was looking at the wrong day. CARLA Dale, I know this isn't what you want, but it could be a good opportunity for you. She remembered you. That's good. This would give you a great chance to make more of an impression on her. She's busy Dale, and I know that you're not, so you should really consider this. DALE What's it pay? CARLA I'll find out. Will you do it? DALE Depends on the pay. CARLA Dale? DALE Fuck it. Okay, fax the info to my office. CARLA All I have is your home fax number. DALE That's it. That's my office. CARLA Good job Dale. This could work out real well for you. You never know in this business. I'll send you the details. DALE Thanks Carla, I guess. Dale shuts his phone and wipes the food off with the only clean part of his shirt which is tucked in his pants. He gets up and picks the food off from him. CUT TO: INT.-SAMANTHA'S APARTMENT DOOR-EVENING Dale is standing outside the apartment in a tuxedo. He knocks on the door. Samantha answers the door. SAMANTHA Yes. DALE I'm Dale. SAMANTHA Who are you looking for? DALE I'm here for the party. SAMANTHA Oh you must be with the caterer. Go see Rob, he's in the kitchen. DALE I just thought...don't you remember me from the audition yesterday. SAMANTHA Oh, that's right. He's in the kitchen straight back. Dale enters her apartment which is tastefully designed. He walks to the kitchen and places his belongings on a chair. DALE You're Rob? ROB That's me. Who are you. DALE I'm Dale. I'm filling in for the waiter that cancelled. ROB Oh yes, the actor. Thanks for coming on such short notice. Most cater waiters are want to be actors, did you know that? Could you give me a hand with these little guys. Dale assists Rob in placing pigs in a blanket on a cookie sheet. DALE Am I the only server? ROB No, there is another waitress, Amy, who should be here by now. How did you get roped into this? DALE I know the woman holding the party. ROB Oh really, how do you know her? DALE Well I've done some work for her in the past as an actor. She's hired me for a few different roles. ROB Anything that I would have seen. DALE Probably not. I did a tanning cream commercial that aired in South America for a short time, and a Kentucky Fried Chicken spot that aired in Europe somewhere. I think France. ROB Speaking of food, we need to arrange these little appetizers on a tray DALE Are these the hors d'oeuvres? ROB This is it. The first, second and third course. Seven hundred and fifty of these little guys. She has a separate freezer full of these frozen goodies. DALE That seems a bit obsessive and aren't they considered a bit trashy for a cocktail party? ROB I guess maybe but we grew up on them and can't seem to get enough of them. They remind us of our childhood back in the Midwest. Don't knock them till you've tried one. You'll see, they'll be gobbled up by these uppity people in no time. DALE You said we grew up on them. Do you mean me and you. ROB I didn't grow up with you Dale. Sam is my kid sister. DALE Gotcha. ROB I would like to see some of those commercials that you did. I'll bet Sam has them on tape. She saves everything she's ever done. DALE Oh. I'm sure she probably didn't hang on to them. I didn't even get a copy. I'm not even sure if they made it to the air. ROB Trust me, if she cast you in those spots, I guarantee you, she's got them. I'd like to see them...maybe after the party. So this is going to be a relatively laid back crowd and we're just passing drinks and hors d'oeuvres DALE What's the occasion? ROB Does it matter? DALE Well, sort of. I like to know what people are celebrating so I can get into the groove. ROB You mean rut, not groove. DALE No groove. ROB Rut Dale. I've been there. Let's call it what it is. DALE I just thought it might be nice to know what was going on. ROB You weren't invited, so what difference does it make? DALE Did I say something that pissed you off? ROB Who knows? She throws these things from time to time. Probably some industry thing. It's funny, but I used to be an actor, but I started making a better living at catering and I'm actually good at what I do. I really enjoy it and Sam passes me loads of industry business. Catering has given me more opportunities for contacts and acting roles than my agent could ever line up. It's funny how life works. I don't have any interest in that shit anymore. As soon as I decided that I didn't want it, it came to me. I was flooded with acting opportunities. I guess the desperation subsided and I became more approachable. I think people pick up on that desperate shit. It scares them in a Fatal Attraction sort of way. DALE Yeah...I know. You got to act like you don't give a shit. ROB That's not exactly what I meant. I learned a lot from my kid sis about this business. She's respected in the industry and knows her shit. She can read a person a mile away and by the time you reach her, she's got your number. Amy races in. AMY Rob...Sorry I'm late. The fucking trains aren't running. ROB No prob. Dale's been giving me a hand. Dale this is Amy, our other waiter/waitress. AMY Hello Dale. Thanks for showing up. I thought I was flying solo tonight. DALE No solo tonight. I'm your copilot, you just let me know what to do. AMY That's great. I'll take care of the bar and passing of the drinks if you want to pass the wienies. DALE That makes the most sense. You get them liquored up and I'll try to get rid of these stubby wieners. ROB I'm tellin' you. People start showing up and the party is in full swing. Dale and Amy are zigzagging between the guests with cocktails and wienies. Dale recognizes a few of his acting buddies and some different casting directors, producers, directors, etc... He also recognizes some familiar faces that he can't place. He returns to the kitchen with an empty tray. DALE Rob, you weren't kidding..people love these little turds. ROB See. DALE They're eating them up by the fistful. ROB Just keep em passing. We've got plenty. Dale exchanges his empty tray for a fresh filled and starts off into the crowded room. He makes a few passes and he senses a strong feeling hitting his whole body. He tries to ignore his urge, but it persists. His skin starts to tingle and he as at the verge of a toxic sweat. He heads to the bathroom and enters with the tray. He sets the tray half eaten, on the vanity. He runs over to the toilet, releases his cummerbund, unzips his trousers and squats over the toilet releasing his load mid air. He has a bad case of diarrhea. He pans the bathroom picking up magazines and bottles of lotion and perfume. He squirts the perfume to mask his odor, but the nozzle is pointed towards his tuxedo. He's sprayed himself in the face. Outside the bathroom, he hears party sounds. He overhears, "Did you try those little appetizers?, Where's the wiener boy?" Dale is trying to focus on downloading his virus as soon as possible. He's lost in his own world. The more he concentrates, the longer it takes. A cat leaps out from the pantry closet and scares the shit out of Dale(not literally). The cat walks over to Dale and starts doing figure 8's between his lower legs. Dale reaches down to pet the cat. DALE Hey kitty. You're beautiful aren't you? Yes you are. What's your name? Do you have a name? That feels good, huh? The cat get's a whiff of Dale's odor and by instinct, begins to paw at the floor as if to cover up it's own shit. DALE (LAUGHING AT THE CAT) What are you doing? That's hilarious. You're not making the stink, I am, you silly kitty. The cat jumps into the litter box next to the toilet and joins Dale in a shit down. Dale watches the cat, having nothing better to do with his time as he is trapped on the pot. As the cat finishes his business, he paws at the kitty litter to cover his job. The cat leaps out and Dale spots something on the bottom of the litter box. He wraps his hands in TP and starts digging through the litter. By displacing the litter, he observes that the bottom of the cat tray is lined with glossy paper. He scoops everything to one corner of the box and realizes that there are number of head-shots facing up, lining the bottom of the litter box. He clearly recognizes one of the faces. It's as though he's looking in a mirror. It's his own and it has a semi-dried, whittish-tan, cat turd stuck to his face. He finishes his business on the toilet and get's up leaving his cummerbund on the floor. Dale wraps both of his hands in toilet paper and pulls his head-shot from the litter box. The turd is still stuck to his face. He flushes the toilet and grabs the tray in one hand and his head-shot is in the other and hands are both clad in tp. He opens the door another casting director/guest of the party walks in after him wincing. He marches into the party looking for Samantha. Guest are taking the wienies from his tray as he hunts down Sam. He spots her across the room and approaches her talking to 3 other guests. He's very timid and soft spoken. He dances around the room after her with his tray of weiners in one hand and his litter liner head-shot in the other behind his back as if it's a surprise for Sam. DALE I'm sorry, Ms. Hirsch? She hold up a finger as if to say give me a second. DALE Okay. Dale waits for her and she walks off to talk with another group of guest. He tracks her. DALE Ms. Hirsch? Samantha turns around and grabs a wiener off of the tray and plops it into her mouth. SAMANTHA These little things are evil. I've eaten way too many. Pass them on the other side of the room. Thanks. DALE Okay, but can I ask you something real quick? SAMANTHA You should talk to Rob if you have any questions. He's in charge of this deal. DALE It's not that. It's just that I wanted to know if I could show you something. SAMANTHA No business, this is a party. DALE It will just take a second. SAMANTHA Hurry up. Dale pulls his head-shot up for her to see. There's a dried cat turd stuck to his face DALE Okay, I'm sorry, but what's this? SAMANTHA It looks like a litter liner to me. DALE A litter liner? It's my head-shot. SAMANTHA Is that you? Dale shakes the picture and the turd falls onto the tray. DALE See. It's my head-shot. He puts the picture next to his own head for comparison. SAMANTHA I see a resemblence. DALE I think it fell into your cat's litter box. SAMANTHA No, I put it there. It saves me money on box liners. DALE Oh. I got the impression that maybe these were filed away somewhere at your office. SAMANTHA Did I give you that impression? DALE I just assumed that's how it went down. I have a cleaner head-shot with me. Would you like me to leave it with Rob? One of the guest walks by Dale and grabs an unappetizing appetizer. She freaks out and spits the cat shit on the floor and runs to the bathroom. Dale leans down to grab the eaten turd off of the floor with some cocktail napkins, and the wieners roll off of the tray onto the floor. He's on his hands and knees chasing these rollers. Dale looks up at Samantha. DALE So should I leave that with Rob? SAMANTHA No, I think you should just leave. DALE I'm sorry, I'm just trying to help. SAMANTHA (SCREAMING TO THE KITCHEN) Rob, get in here please. ROB What's up sis? Dale, what are you doing? SAMANTHA He's ruining my party, that's what he's doing. He fed one of my guest Mimi's feces. DALE No I didn't. It was a mistake. SAMANTHA Hiring you was a mistake, and Rob, I want you to fix it. Rob helps Dale up off the floor and starts picking up the pieces. He sets everything on the table and escorts Dale to the door. DALE It's not how it went down Rob. I assure you. ROB Anything my sister wants, my sister gets. DALE Really, like your little wieners? ROB We're not like that, now get out. DALE Rob, I was kidding. Come on, why would I feed these people cat shit. I need to make a an impression. ROB Oh, I'm sure you made an impression. Time to go buddy. DALE My stuff. ROB I'll get it, just wait here in the hallway. Rob places Dale in front of the door and slams the door on his face. He stands there shaking his head. He never expected it to turn out like this. He is going over it in his mind. The door opens, and his belongings are thrown at him into the hallway. The door slams shut and Dale reaches down to gather his things. As he stands back up to leave, the door opens again, and Rob flings his head-shot, with traces of cat shit, and it floats like a feather to the floor. DALE (AS THE DOOR IS SLAMMED IN HIS FACE) Thanks Rob. Nice to meet you. His picture lands on her doormat. He looks down at himself and sees himself as a doormat. The picture is speckled in cat litter and smears of cat shit. He leaves the picture and turns to head down the stairs, CUT TO: INT.-DALE'S NYC STUDIO APARTMENT-MORNING Dale is up and has put the past evening behind him. He's preparing his resume and stuffing 8x10's into envelopes. He's mapping out a plan of action for the day. He's writing down addresses and is getting everything ready for a productive day. He's dressed smart but casual. EXT.-NYC STREET Dale stops at the street corner down from his building and one by one feeds the mailbox with his envelopes. CUT TO: VARIOUS OFFICES Dale enters a variety of office buildings and heads up to the offices of casting directors, agents, production companies, etc...He never makes it past the receptionist, who usually pitch it into the trash once he's out of sight. He hand delivers his head-shot to different firms throughout the day. CUT TO: INT.-DALE'S NYC STUDIO APARTMENT-LATE AFTERNOON Dale is taking a cat nap on his couch after a hard day of canvassing. He's fallen asleep with all of his acting provisions scattered about and one of his head-shots under his head. The phone rings. Being too worn out, he allows his machine to do the honor's. ANSWERING MACHINE Hello, you've reached Dale Singer, actually you haven't reached me at all, you've reached my machine which if you kindly leave a message, my machine will be glad to pass it along to me when I arrive. MIRANDA Dale, it's Miranda from Samantha Hirsh's office. Dale half wakes up and flips off the answering machine. MIRANDA(CONT'D) I'm calling about the audition back on the 13th of April. The agency and director want to see you tomorrow for a callback if your available. Dale sits up with a head-shot stuck to his cheek. He grabs for the phone. DALE Miranda. Miranda, it's Dale. What's up? MIRANDA Why did you just let me ramble? DALE I just got in. I was out all day. Hang on, let me put my stuff down. Dale grabs a glossy and a marker and comes back to the phone. He pulls his head-shot from his face and flips it over to take down the info. There is a trace of his face on his face from the picture. DALE (CONT'D) Okay sorry Miranda, I just walked in when you called. So what's up? MIRANDA You sound groggy. DALE Me. Groggy. No, I don't think so. It could be the connection. What's up. MIRANDA They want you back in for a callback tomorrow. DALE Who? Samantha? MIRANDA No, the agency and the director. DALE Tomorrow huh? MIRANDA Dale, don't give me that I'm busy shit. I've got a lot of phone calls to make. DALE Hey, hang on there. I do have a life whether you want to believe it or not and I do believe I have something going on tomorrow, just give me a second to look at my book. Dale grabs his book and flips to the date in question which is fully blank. The day after he has a meeting with his shrink but other than that, clear. DALE (CONT'D) Okay, now you said tomorrow, that's the 23rd right? What time do they want me in there Miranda? MIRANDA Late morning, say 11:15. DALE Could we make it just a little earlier? I have a meeting way downtown at noon and I need time to get there. MIRANDA How's 11? DALE Nothing earlier huh? MIRANDA Dale. DALE I know, I know, just let me try to work this out. I have a 9:30 that might run long but I could probably switch that to later in the afternoon. Can I call you back? MIRANDA No DALE Eleven's fine. I'll see you then. Oh Miranda, what should I wear. MIRANDA Clothes Miranda hangs up. Dale jumps up and down like a kid in a moon-walk with the remanent of ink from his picture on his cheek. CUT TO: INT.-CASTING STUDIO Close up on Dale's day-planner flipped to May 23rd. In the box reads, "CALLBACK MOTHAFUCKA-11AM TV PILOT". Camera pans out to watch Dale slam his day-planner shut, and strut to the session. He exits as soon as he enters, time lapse, strutting with his head in the clouds. ROGER Dale, Dale. Wait up. DALE Hey Rog. What brings you here? ROGER I was called back for this pilot. DALE No shit. Me too. ROGER How did it go? DALE Nailed it. How bout you? ROGER I think they liked me, but who the fuck knows. You can never tell with these fucking people. They'relike riddles and I've never liked riddles. So what's your schedule for the rest of the day? Do you want to do lunch? DALE I'll check my book. He puts down his Variety and Backstage and opens his book to today's date. The only thing he has going on for today has just taken place. Clear from here. DALE I just have a few phone calls to make and then I should be clear. ROGER Well yeah, I should switch some shit around to make some time for us. How's midtown for you? DALE My ex works in midtown. ROGER Ex? DALE We've separated for a while. Roger has no idea of Dale's personal life. ROGER Well, midtown is a big town. DALE You're right. Chances are..you're right. ROGER Great. I know a indiscreet place that serves the best martini lunch. CUT TO: INT.-"MANHATTAN UP"-A SUIT AND TIE RESTAURANT IN MIDTOWN. Roger and Dale walk through the doors way under-dressed. They both are wearing a bit of self applied make-up from the callback. It's very possible that Roger's make-up is a daily chore, callback or not. HOSTESS Are you guys lost? Grand Central Station right. You go back out of the doors and make a right until... ROGER Excuse me. We live here and we don't need directions to Grand Central. How long have you lived her missy? HOSTESS Three months. ROGER We're native actors and we've come for a liquid lunch. We're on a break from our shoot. HOSTESS I see, so, two for lunch then? ROGER Yes, and could we have one of your cozy booths. HOSTESS I'll see what we have. She leaves to peruse the room. ROGER They have these big huge cushy booths with high backs that you can get lost in. DALE Sounds comfortable. I'm not so sure I can really afford.. ROGER It's on me slick. DALE You think I'm slick. Slick's good, right? ROGER Loosen up my man. The hostess returns HOSTESS (TO DALE) Looks like it's your lucky day. Follow me. They both follow her to a big red cushioned booth and sit. She hands them a cocktail menu and a lunch menu. HOSTESS Would you guys like anything from the bar. ROGER Does an actor like the spot-lite. Two of the Manhattan Up Martini's up. DALE I'll have mine straight. HOSTESS One up and one straight. Got it. DALE What's good here? ROGER We just ordered the specialty of the house. DALE I'm not big on a martini lunch. I need more than olives. ROGER Order whatever you want. I'm fine with the olives. Hours have passed and Roger and Dale are both schnockered. Roger more so than Dale. The business crowd has come in and tables are filled with men and women in suits. Roger gets up to go to the bathroom. We follow him to the bathroom and he relieves himself. When he's finished, he looks into the mirror, tidies himself up and squirts a fine mist of Binaca onto his tongue before heading back to the table. He arrives at the table to see Dale slouched down in the booth He grabs Dale under his arms and pulls him up. Dale's head wobbles into Roger's shoulder and Roger's tongue is down Dale's throat in seconds. Across the room is a table of 5 business men and 2 business women. BUSINESS MAN 1 Sadie, isn't that your husband Dale over there? SADIE Where? BUSINESS MAN 1 Over there kissing that other man. Dale is shocked and drunk and doesn't know what's hit him. He is stunned and afraid to pull away for fear that he might be seen. SADIE No, Dale would never come to a place like this. He doesn't even know they exist. She takes a closer look. SADIE No, why would he be here and why would he be with another guy like that. Stop busting my balls Malcolm. The table of business people turn back to their business but Sadie studies the two men. She's concentrating at the business at the other table rather than the business at her own. The lot of the restaurant is watching two men make out in the booth. This wouldn't be uncommon if we were in Chelsea, but mid town is a different crowd. Sadie excuses herself from the table. She walks past the two men on her way to the bathroom and recognizes Dale. Dale catches a glimpse of her and pulls himself away from Roger. Dale heads to the head to catch her. She's waiting for him by the bathrooms. SADIE Dale, what the fuck? DALE (HICCUPING) I have no idea. I really don't. Sadie, what are you doing here? SADIE I work in this area and we have business lunches here all the time. I've told you about this place so many times. Have you ever listened to anything I've said. So what, are you gay now? DALE Oh come on. That's such a crock of shit. SADIE That looked gay to me. DALE I know how it looked, but it wasn't my idea. I really need to wash my mouth. I'm drunk and I want to get the fuck out of here. SADIE You really need to wash your hands of this/our relationship. DALE Sadie. Give me a break.(laughing like she's nuts) I'm going to go rinse out my mouth and I'll call you later. SADIE Don't bother. You've humiliated yourself, not to mention me in front of my colleagues. DALE Sadie. I'm just as shocked as you. Come on now, you know me. My mouth. I'll call you. Dale walks into the bathroom and turns back to Sadie shouting obnoxiously out of the mens room door. DALE I'm just drunk. I'll give you a call later. Christ Sadie, I'm not gay! SADIE Tell that to your boyfriend in the booth! All of the men look at Dale in the bathroom. He turns on the tap and wets a paper towel and proceeds to wash his tongue. CUT TO: INT.-DALE'S NYC STUDIO APARTMENT Dale enters and listens to his messages. He's a bit buzzed. ANSWERING MACHINE Hey Dale it's Jimmy from Ordinary Casting. It says here that you roller blade. I have a job for you June 5th if you're available. Call me at the office for details. Dale stops the machine and calls Ordinary Casting. GRETCHEN Ordinary Casting, this is Gretchen. DALE (SLURRING) Hey Greta, it's Dale Singer. Jimmy called about a shoot on June 5th and it had something to do with roller blading. GRETCHEN Gretchen, hold please. Dale goes to grab a pen and paper while he's on hold. Gretchen returns and Dale scribbles down the dope. DALE Yes, I'm still here. This isn't Gretchen. It's Dale. Dale Singer. I think you have the wrong line. Uh huh. Yes I have my own blades. Right. I know where that is. Okay. This is for tomorrow right? Oh yeah, that's right, June 5th. GRETCHEN Someone sounds like they have a drinking problem. Middle of the day, Dale? DALE I'm just tired. No, I know. I'll be there. Hey Greta Thanks. I'm sorry, what was that. No really Gretta, what did you say. Okay, well thanks again and I'll call you. No, I know, I'm sorry, I'll see you tomorrow, or I'm going to be there on June 5th. Dale hangs up the phone and calls Roger. He gets his machine. He grabs his day planner and flips it to June 5th. He writes in the box with a thick sharpie, "Feature Film-EXTRA WORK am". DALE Hey Roger, it's Dale. I know you have to have a pair of roller blades and we're about the same size. I need to borrow them for a shoot next week if that's okay by you. Give me a jingle when you get in. Thanks for lunch today. I have to say, you caught me off guard. No hard feelings and I'm sure hard feeling is what was on your mind. I'm flattered but straight. I know, an actor in New York. He's either not an actor or he's the last to know he's gay. Even his boyfriend can't convince him. But for now, I consider myself to be an admirer of the female gender. Later. Dale hangs up the phone and looks at himself in the mirror with pathetic eyes. He's a little disturbed at the message he just left for Roger. He picks up the phone and hits redial. DALE Roger hey, it's Dale. Hey uh...disregard that previous message. Need to borrow your blades bro asap. I need to do a little practicing for a roller- blader role. Give me a buzz. Later. Dale plays the rest of his messages on his machine. ANSWERING MACHINE Dale, it's Miranda from Sam Hirsch Casting. I'm calling to check your availability for a fitting tomorrow for the pilot. Your the director's first choice for the part. Please call me as soon as you get this message. Dale stops the machine and calls Miranda. MIRANDA Sam Hirsch Casting. DALE Miranda, It's Dale Singer. MIRANDA Congratulations. Are you available June 5th, for a fitting. Dale looks at his day-planner. For the first time he has a conflict and the box is taken up. DALE Thanks...that's fabulous news. I'm so excited. That's so awesome. I knew I nailed it. Uhm..could I come in for the fitting towards late afternoon? MIRANDA That's fine. How's 5:30 sound. DALE That should be fine. I've got an early shoot that day and I'm sure I'll be done by then. MIRANDA Hang on, and I'll get you the details. Dale is elated waiting for Miranda to get back. What a day he's having. He's thinking that maybe Roger's kiss was good luck. DALE I'm here. Okay 5:30 on June 5th at Bryant Park. Just in the park somewhere or..Okay got it on the corner of West 41st and 6th Ave. That's great...do I need to bring anything like some wardrobe, head-shots, SAG card? MIRANDA Dale, you got the part. You don't need your head-shot, they know what you look like and they are fitting you for wardrobe so just show up. DALE I'm there. Miranda, thank you so much. You've made my day. MIRANDA I just made the call. You did the rest. DALE Your the best. This is good. Really good stuff. Dale hangs up the phone and white outs the previous entry. He blows it dry and makes room for "WARDROBE FITTING and FEATURE FILM EXTRA WORK" on the June 5th page. He gets up and paces back and forth through his apartment as if he's walking down a long aisle and when he gets to the mirror by his door, he takes steps in the air as if to walk up to a stage. He stands in front of his "last take" mirror by the apartment door and gives himself a look over. This is his mirror that he uses as he leaves his apartment everyday. It is now acting as his podium. He starts his acceptance speech for his academy award. He's been doing this for years. DALE Thank you. Thank you so much. You have no idea what this means to me. I've been rehearsing this speech for years in front of a mirror on the wall of my studio apartment. It feels a bit strange not seeing myself in the mirror as I give this speech to my peers and colleagues, so I brought the mirror with me. He stops and goes over to his desk to get his shit together for his full day tomorrow. He sits down and signs a few head-shots to some fantasy fans in his head. He grabs the phone to give Sadie the news. He gets her machine. DALE Hey honey, it's Dale. Just wanted to let you know I got that pilot and I'm also doing some extra work tomorrow on a feature. My day has been really full not to mention I kissed my first man today. That was not what it looked like. His tongue was down my throat before I could say I'm not gay, which I'm not. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but I'm fairly certain, I'm damn certain, that I like women. Anyway, I just wanted to share the good news with you about my work. Things are looking up. It's weird how things work. Just when you're about to throw it all away, it just.. The machine cuts him off. He starts to go through his wardrobe to pick out things to wear for his extra gig which is over a week away. He throws a bunch of his clothes on his bed and get's bored quickly. Dale feels something sore on his face and he goes to the bathroom and checks it out in the mirror. He's got a massive zit forming at the tip of his nose. He goes after with passion getting different tools involved. CUT TO: EXT.-NYC STREET Close up on Dale's day-planner which reads, "FEATURE-EXTRA WORK am". The page is flipped to June 5th. The camera pans out as the sun starts rising on a crew setting up a shot for a NYC street scene. The street is blocked off and lights are being placed, tents are being raised, director chairs are being unfolded, electric cables are laid and taped, etc....This is a big budget feature with big names attached and you can tell by the expense of the operation. FADE OUT. FADE IN: INT.-EXTRA'S HOLDING AREA Dale and his extra friends are all clad in summer activity gear. Dale has a red bulbous nose from the previous nights self inflicted surgery on his nose. Some are wearing jogging outfits, while others are shielded in roller blading guards. Others have their bicycles with helmets and there are a few skate boarders. Roger enters running a little late carrying his roller blades. DALE Roger, thank God. Where the fuck have you been? ROGER The F fucking train. You know. DALE Did you bring the pads? ROGER Right here in my bag. What's up with your nose? DALE I think it's a spider bite. So, I've done this before but it's been a while. I think I might need a little refresher course? ROGER Looks like a huge fuckin' zit to me. Are you sure you've done this? DALE Rogie? Of course I know what I'm doing. (Whispering) It is a zit. Do you think make-up can do anything with this thing. I mean, it's got it's own orbit. ROGER Possibly. Some of them are magicians. Alright. Let's strap you in. Roger kneels down in front of Dale and straps on the roller blades. Dale pulls his crotch away from Roger. He assists him in putting on all of the shields. Dale puts the helmet on backwards which goes unnoticed. DALE Okay...this feels right. Yeah. It's just like riding a bicycle. ROGER Actually Dale, it's nothing like riding a bike. DALE Figure of speech my boy. Okay let me just stand up for a second and get used to my new legs. Dale stands and lands right on his ass pulling Roger down with him which gets some morning laughs out of the others who have had their coffee. ROGER Dale? DALE I know what I'm doing. Just give me a second. It's been a while. Trust me Roger. Roger helps him stand. Dale gets stable and stands in one place. DALE See. I'm good. What did they tell you to wear Rogie? ROGER Well they called me for a roller blader, but I told them that my blades were broken. I'm a jogger. I wasn't about to tell them that I could skate board. DALE Thanks for letting me use these. A Production Assistant walks into the room as everyone is eating breakfast, drinking coffee, and shooting the shit. P.A. I need everyone's attention. Could you guys pair off in different groups. I need all of the joggers together, all of the skateboarders together, all of the roller bladers together, you get the picture. Everyone moves to their own sport grouping. P.A. So the shot this morning is a typical summer slice of life, NY Central Park look. So we have a little bit of everything going on. I want a few people in each group to pair off and then I want to talk to the best representative from each sporting group. Any questions? No questions so the PA makes his rounds. He gets to the roller bladers. P.A. Okay. We've got a couple of people paired off I can see. Now who in this group feels that they are best on their feet here? Dale still standing in the same spot where Roger left him raises his hand. Another guy and girl raise their hands as well. P.A. (TO DALE) You're good on these? DALE Yeah. I've spent some time on them. P.A. How much time? DALE You know..I head over to that park over on the west side and like to stroll along the river down to the piers. I'm pretty decent...I definitely know what I'm doing. Its.. P.A. Okay great, so what's your name? DALE Dale. Singer. P.A. Okay Singer, sounds good. My name is Zach. I'm going to come back down for you guys in about half an hour to 45 minutes, and when we get up to the location, I want you to come and see me? Clear DALE Gotcha. Zach leaves and Dale scours the room to find his crash coach, Roger. DALE (WAVING HIM OVER) Roger. Hey Rog. Come ere. ROGER What's up? DALE You don't need to stretch or anything to warm up for your jogging scene do you? I mean you don't need to practice jogging? ROGER No, I don't need to practice my jogging. I think you might to reintroduce yourself to those blades though. DALE Well, that's kind of what I was thinking. Would you mind. Dale grabs onto Roger's arm for support and starts allows himself to be pulled from the spot he's been standing for the past 20 minutes. Roger pulls Dale between tables and basement columns like a father teaching his kid on training wheels. Dale appears unstable at first and then seems to get his balance. DALE This is great. I forgot how much fun this can be. Stopping, now what's up with that again. It's been a while. ROGER Your brake is on the right heel. Just plant your right heel to the ground when you want to slow down or stop. DALE Oh, that's right. But I'm a southpaw. ROGER I don't think that makes any difference. Dale...are you sure that.. DALE I'm fine. It's just been a while. Take me back to the table. I want some steam left for the scene. Roger goes back to his jogging group and opens his book. Dale hangs out with the other "real" roller bladers and flips through "Backstage" and "Variety". FADE OUT. FADE IN: EXT.-CENTRAL PARK STREET The extras are being herded through the set and placed in key areas. The set is bubbling with producers, writers, grips, PA's, A.D.'s, the director, etc... The main part of the set is located at the bottom of a hill on a Central Park street. Zach show's Dale his mark by the camera. ZACH We've got the camera set up so it looks like when you come down the hill, you're going to run into the principles, but you're just going to buzz them. Here is your mark, this line of green tape, left of camera. Dale is escorted by Zach up the hill. He's sidestepping in the grass on the way up as Zach instructs him on the shot. ZACH So this is a typically beautiful summer day in Central Park and the park is just teeming with activity. You know what it's like on the first nice day of the season. Everyone and their gay roommate is out. Dale is huffing his way up the hill sideways and shaking his head in acknowledgement. ZACH That was a joke. Dale doesn't have the breath to laugh but smiles and shakes his head. ZACH The principles will be right in front of camera locked in a kiss. This is the climax of the movie really, because everyone's been wanting these two to get together forever. Anyway, we're going to have joggers, skateboarders blah blah blah, and we want a guy in roller blades to shoot by them at a fairly quick click to startle them out of the kiss. That's where you come in. They both reach the mark and Dale leans on a tree for support. ZACH I'll be communicating on walkie with the A.D. He's down on the set and will give me instructions of when I should send you. Here is another line of green tape. Stand here for your take-off. I'll point to you. You just wait for my cue. You okay Singer. DALE Great. Perfect. Dale leans his back up against the tree and both his legs roll out from under him and he slides down the trunk onto his ass. He decides to just stay there and plays it off as skill. He's getting thirsty but doesn't dare head down to the set for some water in fear of the return. He waits and waits and looks at clouds and watches people watch him. He's being eyed by bystanders and feels obligated to stand as if too maybe fool some of the strangers that he just might be the STAR of all of this hoopla. Straddling the tree, he pulls himself up to a balanced position. ZACH Background action, get ready. Singer that means you. The wind is taken out of his sails. The gathering crowd has been let in on the secret. DALE I'm ready. ZACH Get to your mark in the street. This is the first take of many to follow. Dale side steps to his mark and adjust his backwards helmet, knee and elbow pads and concentrates. ZACH Singer, don't look into the camera or at the principles when you get down there. Look straight ahead. Your job is to just whiz by. DALE I'm ready. ZACH Wait for my cue. Zach's walkie gives him the go ahead to send down Dale. ZACH (POINTING TO DALE) Singer, Go. Dale gives the thumbs up sign to Zach and gets off to a wobbly start. He begins to pick up speed and balances out. He gets more comfortable and it starts to look like Dale really has done this before. He's midway down the hill approaching lights. He runs over a taped-down electric cable in the road and starts to loose his balance. His arms are flaying and he's got one blade in the air. As he descends the hill, he takes out everything within arms reach. Lights crash down, flags are tipped over, crew members scramble to replace everything. Chaos is snowballing the closer Dale gets to camera. Dale regains his balance and has picked up heavy speed. He's heading right toward the set with his eyes locked onto the green tape. As he approaches the tape, he realizes he's a few feet from his mark. People start to scream and leave their posts. He smacks right into the kissing principles and knocks them into the camera which rolls back and topples monitors, people in directors chairs, and the tent covering the cast and crew. The screen goes to shattered glass. DIRECTOR Cut. CUT TO: EXT.-BRYANT PARK-LATER THAT AFTERNOON It's 5:45 PM and Dale shows up fifteen minutes late in a leg cast. He limps over to the wardrobe people on crutches. DALE I'm Dale Singer. Sorry I'm late. NINA We were just about to leave. Did you get our message on your cell? DALE No. NINA Are you wearing make-up for the wardrobe fitting? DALE Yes, well I mean no. I am wearing make-up but not for this. I came from another job. NINA Where, General Hospital? DALE No, but that's a good idea. I should call them. I broke my leg today. NINA It's just a figure of speech you know. DALE I never take things literally. NINA I don't know about this Dale? DALE What don't you know about? NINA I'm not sure we can do this today. Let me call Tommy the director and see what he says. DALE Please do your best. It means a lot to me. I broke my leg for this role. I deserve some luck here. NINA (ON CELL) Hello Tommy. Is this Tommy? Hey Lia, it's Nina...I'm good..hey is Tommy close by? I have a question for him. Thanks doll. Tommy, Nina. Your principle Dale just arrived for a fitting in a leg cast. He says it's real. I don't know, I guess he broke his leg today. I already tried that, he didn't laugh. Yes. Okay. I don't see why not. Okay, you're the boss. Nina snaps her cell shut. NINA I guess that broken leg thing is a sign of luck. Tommy thinks it would actually be okay for your character to have a broken leg. He wants me to fit you. This will be my first. DALE What's that? NINA I've never fit a person in a cast before. Well I've fit plenty of cast actors but no actors in cast. Can I be the first to sign? DALE Make it sweet, and no profanity. I don't want Disney turning me down. Dale pulls a sharpie from his back pocket and hands it to Nina. He pulls up a chair and sits down resting his cast on Nina's knee. She scribbles, "LUCKY BREAK" in large letters and draws a comedy face. Dale smiles at her, takes in a deep breath and sighs. We see him kick back and relax. For the first time he looks happy, giving the day he had. CUT TO: MONTAGUE OF SHOTS- Dale is working more than ever. He's doing loads of extra work on various productions with his leg still in the cast. He's a fireman with a broken leg. He's a lifeguard with a broken leg. He's a construction worker with a broken leg. He's a juror with a broken leg. He's a soccer player with a broken leg. He's a _______ with a broken leg. You get the picture. As we see these clips of Dale's walk-on's or limp-on's, the day planner pages and cash shuffle to give a sense of time and money. The last shot we see is Dale sleeping. He's still wearing his make-up from the previous days shoot. The alarm clock startles him awake. When his head lifts the pillow, his sheets and pillow case are covered in make-up. He reaches for his day-planner and flips it to today's date, October 14th. He get's up and showers to get started on his day. When he exits the bathroom, he's still covered in make- up. CUT TO: INT.JOANS OFFICE Close up on Dale's day planner turned to page October 14th. In the box reads,"p.m. with Joan". We pan off the day planner which is resting on Dale's broken leg. He's still wearing the cast and it's been roughly 17 weeks. The cast is nasty and he's touching it up with white-out as he waits for Joan to enter the office. JOAN Long time Dale. Busy man these days. It's good to see you. DALE Well, it's always good to be seen and I've been seen a lot lately. JOAN I take it that your working a bit more. Joan sniffs the air and makes a sour face. JOAN What's that rancid smell. Damn mice in the walls. They get trapped and die. Do you smell that? DALE I do detect an odor. It might be my leg. This helps. Dale pulls out a bottle of baby powder and cologne and squirts some clouds of powder into the cast. He tops it off with a few mist of old spice. DALE In answer to your question, yes I am working more than ever. It's been great. JOAN Good for you Dale. I remember you calling to tell me you broke your leg, but wasn't that back in June sometime. DALE The fifth to be exact. JOAN That's a long time to be wearing a cast. What does your doctor say. DALE I stopped seeing him. He wanted to remove it. JOAN And you didn't want him to? DALE Fuck no. This is the best thing to happen to my career. I've gotten more work with this cast than I ever did without it. It's ironic, because of the "break-a-leg" thing, but shit man, it works. I don't know if they feel sorry for me or if there's just a lot of calls for gimps, but why question it? JOAN Dale, that can't be good for you. Your leg needs air. You need to allow it to grow or your going to do some permanent damage. I'm serious pal, I believe you've gone too far with this. It smells like it's rotting. DALE Can we not talk about the leg. I'm here for my head. JOAN Yes you are and I'm telling you that your crazy to leave that cast on. Get that through you head. What's your plan Dale. You going to leave that shit on your leg forever. Come on, at what point were you planning on removing it? DALE I just didn't want anything to change. I'm so happy with the work. I'm so sick of eating shit to reach my goal. JOAN You can work without the cast. You've got to remove it. It's become a security for you. And by the way, do you think you're the only one who has to eat shit in this world. Give me a fucking break Dale. Wake the fuck up. Stop pretending. DALE That's all I know how to do. Acting is pretending. I take on a different role. I get out of myself for a brief moment. I don't have to be Dale. JOAN What's wrong with Dale? DALE Dale who? I don't know Dale. I don't even know how to get in touch with him. Let me ask you a question? When you find yourself, do you stop pretending, or is it that when you stop pretending, you find yourself? JOAN We are here together for one thing. Growth. What you want to do as a career, doesn't have to define who you are as a person. It's better to take more risk and test your limits. Sure you get a bit scraped up but it's a better way to find out what makes you tick. You'll never know if you play it safe all the time, walking around in a smelly cast. You need to open yourself to opportunity and that will help define you. You say that acting is what you were meant to do. That's fine, but your goals at 16 might not |